The Huffington Post has a steamy report today about sexy Kirsten Dunst and the hot new documentary she's sexily directing. It's about voting. Rawr!
"Actually, I'm gonna plug the documentary I'm directing," she announced. "My friend Jacob Soboroff is executive director of this nonpartisan organization called WhyTuesday.org. It's a Website. So we're making a documentary together about why we vote on Tuesday."It's all about America's agrarian roots, see? November is the end of harvest, Dunst explained, and the Tuesday vote allowed Sabbath-observing country folk enough time to horse-and-buggy it to the polling stations before Wednesday market. Worked all right back then, apparently. But today, "it's not a holiday, and we're one of the lowest democratic countries in voter turnout," Dunst explained. Lest her doc turns out to be dutifully evenhanded, we demanded to know Dunst's personal opinion on the matter: "I would keep it the same day, just make it a holiday."
Oh my fucking god!!! What an amazing movie!!! A two-hour movie about a ten word answer. "Why do we vote on Tuesdays?" "Well back when we started it was the most practical day." Holy shit!! This movie is gonna make a fortune!!! Remember the part about voting on Tuesday? That was my favorite! But let's not forget the part about why we vote on Tuesdays. That was pretty good too. It was lighthearted and funny, but it also really made you think. Maybe next she could do a movie about whether or not "Lost" is on tonight or what was the score of the Cubs game.
By the way, screw making it a holiday. Voting should be hard. Why should every didpshit who has no idea what's going on get to vote? In fact it should be harder. You should have to take some kind of civics test. And then it would be like American Gladiators where chicks with big boobs in Stars and Stripes bikinis bonk you with foam bats as you try to cross a river.