07.31.2008 TOM CRUISE IS IN TROUBLE

The New York Daily News says today that Tom Cruise has been named in a $250 million federal lawsuit against the Church of Scientology.  Hahahaha, you suck Tom Cruise.  Goofy bastard.  THE NYDN says…

Ex-Scientologist Peter Letterese, a longtime critic of the church, filed suit in Southern District Court in Florida on July 15 alleging, among other things, that members of the church harassed him after he left.
In court papers provided to The News by investigator Paul Barresi, Letterese claims a member of the church phoned his lawyer at home, and when the lawyer's wife answered, said he was her husband's homosexual lover.
Letterese calls the church a "crime syndicate" and wants it broken up under the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organization law, just as the feds have broken up Mafia families.
He singles out Cruise, who's made no secret of his religion, saying that Scientology head David Miscavage is "aided and abetted by the actions of Tom Cruise, his right-hand man for foreign and domestic promotion, as well as for foreign and domestic lobbying. He has assisted the syndicate in acquiring funds and [made] his own donations of money believed to be in the multiple tens of millions of dollars."

This guy is crazy.  Scientology is legit.  I took their personality test one time and it turns out I like to have fun.  And I thought about it and they were right.  Just a week earlier I had hit my thumb with a hammer and I didn’t care for that at all.  How did Scientology know?!?!?!  Here’s some money, tell me more!!!

(61) Comments

  1. windmillninja 07/31/2008 07:23

    Peter Letterese = dead in a week

  2. yelraf 07/31/2008 07:24

    Does Tom cruise?

  3. THE O.G. HATER 07/31/2008 07:24

    FUCK FISTERS!

  4. OCFIEND 07/31/2008 07:25

    Xenu will take his vengence on you all!!!!

  5. Jerith 07/31/2008 07:27

    This will be interesting to watch. Keep us updated!

  6. Paleomiz 07/31/2008 07:28

    Clearly, this man is suffering from sandy vagina syndrome. I prescribe hot saunas, massive B-vitamin shots, excessive e-meter counseling and sucking Tom's dick twice daily.

  7. THE O.G. HATER 07/31/2008 07:28

    LOL @ The Scientology add below the post.

    Define Irony.

     

  8. Slaappy got fingered 07/31/2008 07:30

    Karma comes in threes baby, next is his forced "gay lover outing"

  9. mephistopheles jefferson 07/31/2008 07:31

    Brend0n, you're…you're glib.

    Okay, it's been done, but fuck it.  I'm actually busy today.

  10. Sam Ronson's Hat 07/31/2008 07:34

    It's clearly all those body thetans that are to blame.  Tom should start drinking his own piss to expel the alien spirits.

  11. PIC X 07/31/2008 07:34

    Clearly, this man is suffering from sandy vagina syndrome. I prescribe hot saunas, massive B-vitamin shots, excessive e-meter counseling and sucking Tom's dick twice daily.

     

    Isn't this how Scientology solves all medical problems? 

  12. Seej 07/31/2008 07:38

    I really don't understand what all the fuss is about.  I swear, if one of the slaves accolytes I've captured converted to my cult religion gets all pissy like this then I'm just gonna put them on double dick-sucking duties or threaten that my invisible space daddy will make their ovaries gay.  See?  Easy, and no costly legal fees either.  Scientology sure have a lot to learn about how to run a religion.

    Also, note how cleverly I have not libelled Scientology in this post, for I am clever, and also cowardly.

  13. RonDogg 07/31/2008 07:38

    Sounds like a weak case, but I'd love to see Scientology go down.

    "I left the Super Fun Club, and they were mean to me."

     

    BAH

  14. Paleomiz 07/31/2008 07:48

    Isn't this how Scientology solves all medical problems?

    That was kind of the point

  15. ososexilexi 07/31/2008 07:52

    You mean to tell me that as a Scientologist you're expected to make prank phone calls and harass people? Sounds like the perfect religion for me! Shit, where do I join?

  16. Cock of the Balthazar 07/31/2008 07:58

    Peter Letterese=pawn in Katie Holmes escape plan.

  17. Evil Malcom Norris 07/31/2008 07:59

    I heard they sell little Xenu statues. If you rub its belly you are an idiot.

  18. Robert_Paulson 07/31/2008 08:02

    Kudos to the lawyer and judge that take on this case. They are in for years of harassment for it. These Scientology folks are like the mafia when it comes to lawyers and judges. 

  19. Observer 07/31/2008 08:10

    How can they use R.I.C.O. against Cruise?

    He's not eye-talyn is he? 

  20. ham sandwich 07/31/2008 08:10

    Nothing to see here folks. I mean, what's going to happen? Tom Cruise goes to prison? Isn't that a wet dream for a homo like him? I can picture it now–Tom in the shower with vaseline and a "Put your black meat here" sign tattoo on this back with a down arrow.

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