Despite two weeks of rumors to the contrary, Britney Spears will not perform at this years VMA music awards. Us magazine says…
"Britney Spears will not be performing at the VMAs this year. I'm telling you officially and unequivocally," Ryan Seacrest quoted her manager, Larry Rudolph, as saying on his KIIS-FM radio show Monday morning.
Rudolph told Seacrest that Spears "is in the middle of recording her next album, which is going amazingly well, and was never supposed to perform at that show."
Damn. That shit would have been awesome. Because last year, she actually practiced for like 3 months beforehand. She did shows and everything. And she still stumbled around like a tranquilized bear. To put her out there with no practice would have been legendary. The lights would hit her and she would kind of yelp and cover her eyes then stagger backwards, as if she were some caveman we just teleported there.
Yeah, what a bummer as now there's actually a negative percentage of a chance of me watching any of that retarded-ass awards show.
Wait… MTV still holds the VMAs, even though it hasn't played an actual video innnnn… two decades?
She has a manager? Is he sorta like a rodeo clown?
People still make music videos? Where are they ever seen?
I still think MTV had Britney on last year just to fuck with her. Did they honestly think they'd get a decent performance out of her? Better dancing through pharmaceuticals?
No, DB, consider him Jack Black's Carl Denham to Twitney's King Kong…
So no Brit and Larry Rudolph doing Puttin' On the Ritz with top hats and canes?
OK . . . 1 and 2 and stand there. Now walk . . . and 3 and 4. Somebody help here up on that platform. . . 2 . . . 3 and grind your crotch on that chick . . . and 4 . . . somebody help her down off the platform . . .
So why was she in the ads for the VMAs then? Christ, I hope the elephant shows up at least.
So no Brit and Larry Rudolph doing Puttin' On the Ritz with top hats and canes?
Which one would be Gene Wilder, and which one would be Peter Boyle?
Longhorn, people can train elephants to do all sorts of things…and now, thanks to Dancing with the Stars, a goat will tango…so, anything is possible…
GONG!
Her vag has more dance moves. Have you seen that motherfucker do "The Worm"?
2 bad she won't perform at the VMA's but I'm sure she will still attend - Her Music Video = Piece of ME , is up for a award.
And Music videos are still made and watched = only instead of MTV - they R viewed on youtube and myspace.
LongMike,
I think they flip a coin before they come out on stage.
The old heads I win, tails you lose deal.
Actually, it was an easy decision after Brit shaved her head. They just needed to attach the bolts to her neck, which they were going to do anyway…
Fuck me… MizzPP, you ARE fucking 14 or something, aren't you?
Doesn't VMA stand for Vaginal Monstrosity Awards? Wouldn't she be perfect for that?
JTT,
Yeah, Brittney's video will win because it was awesome!
And, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry was the funniest movie ever made…
Kidding!
In all seriousness, I hope the redness went down on her vagina. That thing looked like roadkill.