I have no idea what the hell Jessica Simpson knows about beer, but she's an unquestioned expert when it comes to poorly thought out business deals. Oh hey look…
it was announced today that she will be the new face of Stampede Light Plus, a beer marketed by Dallas' Stampede Brewing Co. as a beer for active people.
She'll appear in ads for the beverage and is also taking a 15 percent stake in the company. Jessica said in a statement that she's ''always looking for ways to diversify my portfolio with good ideas and good people.''
Well la-di-da. 15 percent of a crappy regional beer label. That must be worth dozens of dollars. Literally, dozens.
(picture source = splash, a look at her fist print ad here)
What the fuck is a beer for "active" people? Are they expecting people to drink it while they power walk or go mountain biking? Sounds pretty retarded. Unless she shows her tits on the label which in that case I'm all for this idea.
I know that Nascar fans need the combined effects of vitamins and beer together!
Jessica Simpson owns a beer company.
Now she truly is the perfect woman.
hard to see Stampede Light Plus blowing up like Vitamin Water, where 50cent made a killing with his stock deal.
I too want to "diversify my portfolio". By filming my dingdong from any angle possible.
I would like Jessica to drink 12, pass out drunk and then I'll flip her over and do her as she snores. Then and only then would I endorse this beer on her behalf.
That beer ad is simply amazing!
I would only sleep with her to get to Kendra.
So she'll take a sip and say "Is this my new beer I'm drinking or my Proactiv?"
You know, like when she couldn't tell the difference between fish and chicken?
Remember?
*sigh*
Yeah… because those ads for MichUltra featuring the idiots running, biking, and swimming (JLo?) and then grabbing a cool Ultra over the Gatorade really worked out.
Beer for active people… that will actually work in Dallas. I don't wanna hear it Longhorn Mike - you know it will.
Whatever - Belgium took Budweiser… beer's almost dead to me.
*slaps self* What did I just say? Ahhh… there, there little Shiner… I still love you… awww… you too Lonestar - of course I pledge myself to you.
Hey, JTT! Here's the new AVI
If bottles of Sam Adams Irish Red were stock in the company, I would own the fucking place.
Are you kidding me? Beer for active people? Not even NASCAR fans would drink that - they aren't active when they are sitting on their asses watching cars go around in circles!
"Be smart drink smart"??
Fuckit.
If you drink smart, you take the original stuff from germany.
Belgium took Budweiser
Which Budweiser? The good and tasty one, or our American?
JTT -Shiner…. asin Shiner Bock???? please say yes, please say yes…….
Beer for active people… that will actually work in Dallas. I don't wanna hear it Longhorn Mike - you know it will.
Ahhh… there, there little Shiner… I still love you..
You'll get no argument from me. Dallas is the plastic surgery capital of the world, so it will work on the vapid, shallow twits I call "Neighbor."
And you, my fellow Shiner lover, just made a new friend. Have you had the Shiner Black yet?
JTT -Shiner…. asin Shiner Bock???? please say yes, please say yes…….
O-Ride, I'll answer for JTT and say - is there any other Shiner?
She looks like she's two paces from doing porn.
Just curious, you never know. I go to the store and there's an assload of new beers. I fn love shiner bock. There's this awesome place near LA that sells buckets of it, and I love going there. Its hard to find up here in the boonies where I live. First time I had it was with my brother, when I went to visit him in Dallas. Damnit. Now I want one - GREAT!