Despite winning eight gold medals in the Olympics last week, Michael Phelps is not as big a story as Jennifer Lopez doing an interview to say she will enter a triathlon one day. This, of course, according to Jennifer Lopez. MSNBC says…
Poor Jennifer Lopez. The new mom is training for a triathlon, but everyone is too busy watching the Olympics to notice.
Lopez, who appeared on "Good Morning America" Aug. 18 to discuss her preparations for the Malibu Triathlon, was overheard saying after the segment that she “couldn’t understand why everyone is talking about that swimmer,” according to a GMA source. “She couldn’t come up with (eight-time gold-medal winner Michael) Phelps’ name, and then she yammered on about how she was the one training for a triathlon just six months after giving birth, and how that was the big story right now, not ‘the swimmer.’”
JLo is right. People win 8 gold medals all the time. That shit is played out. What people don’t do is announce they plan on entering a mini-triathlon (Malibu is a half-mile ocean swim, an 18-mile bike course, and a 4-mile run. Real triathlons are a 2.4-mile ocean swim, a 112-mile bike ride, and a 26.2-mile run). What she is planning on maybe doing is an unparalleled human achievement. I think we’ll all remember where we were the day JLo waddled those last two miles, gasping for air with her hands on her hips, under a full moon because the race ended hours ago, as she tried to keep up to the kid with spina bifida. You Can Do It JLo!!!
Fuck her.
Yes, I'm especially eloquent this morning.
I think I speak for most of Canada when I say "she may be good on the piano but on the organ she sucks".
True dat, go J-Ho.
Wow, just when you thought she couldn't be any more horrible and full of herself. Not to defend her, but that IS a standard distance Triathalon she's running. The one B. mentioned is an Iron Man triathlon, and they are special - like my cousin Jeffy.
Why does she look like a drag queen?
Awww, B changed the photo where she looked like one of those old ladies who start to lose their hair then try to cover it up with a ridiculous bow or something, just drawing more attention to the area.
Christ, I'm not American and I haven't even been watching the Olympics and I still know who Phelps is. Mind you, I can read, and my vision of the TV isn't obscured by an ass the size of the moon, so I guess I have an advantage there.
No no no, she's a narcissistic, talentless bitch.
I've had Enough of this bitch.
Also, what you described as a real triathalon is actually an Iron Man, a typical triathlon is shorter. Not nearly as short as this pussy business (4 mile run? pshaw) though.
What swimmer? I thought we talk about the cheerleader!
How soon can we package this turd off to England ala Madonna and Gwyneth?
I saw her on tv yesterday. She looks like an anjou pear in spandex. Silly cow….she's no Phelps.
Rick, please, havent we suffered enough? You already dumped Snaggletooth on us
"Even weeth all my money, I steel like to eat taco's honey"
I think we’ll all remember where we were the day JLo waddled those last two miles, gasping for air with her hands on her hips, under a full moon .
Geee, her as is that big?
Rem, my bad…I had completely forgotten about that…I guess we'll have to ship her to France, then…
Wasn't she the one who had her aides rip the size tags off her clothes and replace them with tags showing a smaller size?
Now you're talking Rick, Now youre talking
somebody tell this self-obsessed has been that one one cares about her. nobody goes to any of her shitty movies or buys her terrible music. GO AWAY
Things I say I'll do someday:
1) Run a marathon
2) Learn Guitar
3) Restore a vintage Mustang
4) Get my pilot's license
5) Show Doctress the glory of heaven through my superior love-making skills
That's some really cool shit I plan on doing. Where's my news coverage?!