HEATHER LOCKLEAR WAS FRAMED

HOLY CRAP!  So obviously Heather Locklear was arrested over the weekend for DUI, but she was quickly released because her blood alcohol level was well below .08.  Now it turns out her BAL was maybe so low because Locklear wasn’t drunk or driving erratically in any way, and was set up by a former Us magazine employee.  TMZ says…

Jill Ishkanian, who allegedly hacked into Us Weekly's computer system to locate celebs after she left the mag, was following Locklear in the Montecito area. Ishkanian watched the actress go to a market. When Heather got in her car, Ishkanian called 911, even though the car wasn't even moving at the time.Now get this — sources say immediately after Ishkanian called 911, she called a paparazzi agency to give them the heads up Heather was about to be popped. TMZ obtained those photos, not knowing it was Ishkanian who set the ball in motion.And it gets worse. Ishkanian apparently is the only witness who says Lockelear was driving erratically and that she was drunk, even though it's already established she was not under the influence of alcohol.

See?  Sometimes the employees for these magazines are fuckin lunatics, and they’ll do and say anything, even fabricate and orchestrate stories to humiliate famous people.  Like when People said I’ve never been with a woman, and now when I try I can't get an erection because I'm so nervous, and so I take half-a-dozen different male enhancement products to help.   Since when is 5, “half-a-dozen”.  See what I mean?  These people are ridiculous!