By brendon October 17, 2008 @ 7:41 AM

Mark Wahlberg was on the great Jimmy Kimmel show (I heart Jimmy Kimmel) last night, and Jimmy asked him about the impression Andy Samberg did of him on SNL last week.  Suffice to say, Mark was the joyless little bitch he always is.  The pretend tough guy said he was gonna, "crack that big fuckin nose of his (Sambergs) … I don’t play that shit … I’m gonna fly to New York tomorrow and slap him in that big nose."

Whatever.  He's not gonna do shit.  This is what happens when people kiss your ass all day.  I’m sure Mark is the toughest guy getting a laser peel after his Pilates class, but in the real world he’s 35 inches tall and hasn’t been in a fight since 1987.  My dick is bigger than Mark Wahlberg.  Even if he somehow doubled in size overnight, he could still walk through my dog door.  Ooooohhh, scary.


(85) Comments

  1. DocTroy 10/17/2008 08:02

    Watch out for his FIST Andy!

  2. Dirty Hairy 10/17/2008 08:02

    He could blackjack your ass with that fake dong, tho!

  3. DB's Treasure 10/17/2008 08:02

    I can't help but like the guy and his acting. But being that this is WWTDD…..fuck the Calvin Klein wearing cock sucker.

  4. Big Smelly Dirt Cock 10/17/2008 08:03

    I feel like kicking him in the nuts for "The Happening", the humorless prick.

  5. cheese 10/17/2008 08:03

    Why the hate on Mark? I like h….   yeah, what DB said.

  6. Brandon103 10/17/2008 08:04

    Marky Mark might need the Funky Bunches help 

  7. DB's Treasure 10/17/2008 08:05

    Only thing I got against this guy is that he's a Red Sox fan.

  8. DocTroy 10/17/2008 08:05

    You have to admit that The Departed kicked ass and he did a great job in that.

  9. RemSteale 10/17/2008 08:05

    He needs to take a leaf out of Matt Damon's book. Although I dont really want to hear "I'm fucking Mark Wahlberg"

  10. heart rob 10/17/2008 08:06

    want a tampon for that period?

  11. DB's Treasure 10/17/2008 08:06

    "Come on, baby. Let's go in the bedroom and fuck Matt Damon."

    LOL, fucking hell that's hilarious. 

  12. penny_dreadful 10/17/2008 08:07

    god, i didn't know he was such a fucking baby. take a joke like you take a dick, loser. Masshole.

  13. TV's Frank 10/17/2008 08:07

    You'd be pissy too if you had to be constantly reminded of the fact that you're not as talented as Donnie Wahlberg.

  14. Old Enough 2B8 10/17/2008 08:08

    The dude fingered Reese Witherspoon on a roller coaster and broke some kids neck…cut him some slack…

  15. DocTroy 10/17/2008 08:10

    Marky Mark wouldn't take that shit. 

  16. Evil Malcom Norris 10/17/2008 08:10

    I thought Sameberg and Whaleberg were that ghey couple of New Kinds On The Block

    /+claps hands/ 

  17. DB's Treasure 10/17/2008 08:11

    "WAHLBERG SMASH! SHIT! I broke a nail…"

  18. JIMBONE JONES 10/17/2008 08:12

    Why do movie execs think we believe someone who wears calvin klein underwear, was a member of the funky bunch , has  a brother who is a New Kid on the Block and is the basis of the main character from entourage is a real tough guy?

  19. Evil Malcom Norris 10/17/2008 08:12

    Markie got a Grammy for his hair in Departed

  20. swampass 10/17/2008 08:13

    It's a set up for something to happen later… like a skit or something. Mark will "confront" Andy and they will "fight." Lamez. Leave that shit up to Andy Kaufman, the real comedian.

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