MARK WAHLBERG SUCKS

By brendon October 13, 2008 @ 5:50 AM

Saturday Night Live is awful, I don’t think anyone is here to argue that, but Holy Shit Andy Samberg does a pretty damn awesome Mark Wahlberg impression. It’s not SNL’s fault that Wahlberg is a shitty, one-note actor who does the same thing in every single role, but yesterday Wahlberg made it clear to the NY Post that he doesn't like when people point that out.

Someone showed it to me on YouTube. It wasn't like Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin, that's for sure. And "Saturday Night Live" hasn't been funny for a long time. They've asked me to do the show a ton of times. I used to watch it when Eddie Murphy was there and Joe Piscopo and Bill Murray. I don't even know who's on the show now.

Actually a Mark Wahlberg impression seems pretty easy.  All you have to do is make your voice go up and down and up and down all the way through the sentence.  It also helps if you’re 18 inches tall and produce a horrible TV show that is little more than a tribute to how wonderful you are.  Tomorrow I'll give you tips for a good Crocodile Hunter impression (basically you just lie perfectly still).

wwtdd

(74) Comments

  1. avatar
    Terd Ferguson 10/13/2008 06:59

    SNL = Fail

  2. avatar
    Terd Ferguson 10/13/2008 07:00

    As an aside, if I find out that Mark Wahlberg gets any Mila Kunis action in Max Payne, I will go on a fucking killing spree.

  3. avatar
    Ballsnyc 10/13/2008 07:00

    it also helps when you have a scowl on your face and you prance around in your Calvin Klein underwear-Thats the way Pepper likes to see him!

  4. avatar
    Awesomeology 10/13/2008 07:00

    Say hi to your mother for me.

  5. avatar
    Paleomiz 10/13/2008 07:02

    It wasn't like Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin, that's for sure.

    Translation: When other people get parodied, it's funny–but when they do it to me I'm a whiny bitch with sand pounded up my vagina

    Hey kids–my show is back (finally!) Tues. 10-noon PST at http://www.UCLAradio.com. This week's theme is "52 pickup"–so song requests should have king, queen, jack, diamond, heart, etc. in the title.

  6. avatar
    DB's Treasure 10/13/2008 07:02

    I like Wahlberg and all, but he was atrocious in that shitty ass movie 'The Happening' and I really never pictured him as a Max Payne type. Nevertheless, that impression was solid.

  7. avatar
    Terd Ferguson 10/13/2008 07:03

    Paleomiz – I wanna request Ace of Spades by Motorhead

  8. avatar
    Ballsnyc 10/13/2008 07:03

    He better not get any Mila Kuntis!

  9. avatar
    FunnyAsCancer 10/13/2008 07:08

    Who wants to bet on how long it'll take Snorg to put "Say Hi to your mother for me" on a t-shirt?

     I'm putting $5 on this Thursday.

  10. avatar
    Paleomiz 10/13/2008 07:09

    Ok Terd. BTW–please PM the requests–don't clog up the threads with them :0)

    On topic, Marky Mark apparently has no sense of humor–which means ladies, if you ever sleep with him don't playfully queef in his face when he goes down on you or he may punch you in the cunt

  11. avatar
    DB's Treasure 10/13/2008 07:12

    a good quist in the face is always good for a laugh, Doctress

  12. avatar
    pepper 10/13/2008 07:12

    Dirk: [practicing his lines in the mirror] I've been around this block twice now. Looking for something. A clue. I've been looking for clues and something led me back here. Yeah. So here I am. It could have been me, the one who was at Ringo's place when the shit went down. Hey. I know how it is. I've been there. We've all done bad things. We've all had those guilty feelings in our heart. I'm going to take your brain out of your head and wash it and scrub it and make it clean. I don't know. But I'm going to have to settle this. First we're going to check the hole and see what we can find. We're going to get nice and wet, and you're going to spread your legs. Oh, that's good. So you know me. You know my reputation. Thirteen inches of tough load, I don't treat you gently. That's right. I'm Brock Landers. So I'm going to be nice. So I'm going to be nice. So I'm going to be nice, I'm going to ask you one more time. Where the fuck is Ringo?

  13. avatar
    Evil Malcom Norris 10/13/2008 07:13

    Hey Marky how's Prince Ital Joe's mom!

  14. avatar
    Vagina DENTATAAAA 10/13/2008 07:14

    Ace of Spades…great fuckin song.

     

  15. avatar
    Paparazzi Sniper 10/13/2008 07:15

    very funny …sounds just like him.   Saying  "fail" = fail, by the way.   Unless your pointing out the fact that someone said "fail" in which case you would be implicating yourself in the ref of "fail"……and.   I hurt my brain again.

  16. avatar
    Ballsnyc 10/13/2008 07:16

    Peppers shows his love ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  17. avatar
    Ballsnyc 10/13/2008 07:17

    Ace of Bass is the greatest band in the universe- So suck on that!!

  18. avatar
    Paleomiz 10/13/2008 07:21

    Pap Snip: Constant bitching about the posting habits of others

    People in glass houses, baby. Seriously STFU

  19. avatar
    DB's Treasure 10/13/2008 07:22

    ….sink ships?

  20. avatar
    specialk 10/13/2008 07:23

    I totally agree that snl sucks now, but this dude didn't sound like Mark Wahlberg, he sounded just like Michael Rappaport!!

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