MAYER AND ANISTON ARE ENGAGED

John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are engaged.  I wrote like 10 introductions to this, and that was the best one.  There is literally nothing on earth I care about less than Jennifer Aniston.  Star magazine says…

just a week after Jen and John Mayer reignited their romance, Jen made her move and asked him to marry her!After a barrage of romantic e-mails from him, "she said that she'd only take him back if they got married, and he agreed," says a source. "They both know this is it. She wants to settle down, and finally, so does he. They've even talked about having a family, and John said that he couldn't imagine doing it with anyone but her."

I think I hate Jennifer Aniston because she’s a whiny bitch who has made tens of millions from a comedy that clearly wasn’t funny and despite the fact she doesn’t have an ounce of comic timing.  But mostly she sucks because she’s ugly.  And I know that’s not technically her fault, but still, I don’t like it people are, you know … "that way".  I realize disliking her for being ugly is like yelling at a retarded kid for having downs, but whatever, she should have thought of that before being so ugly.