WHATS WITH KATIES TEETH?

Yesterday the Daily Mail had something about Katie Holmes and her scary new teeth.

The actress was seen leaving her New York apartment for the theatre, when she unwittingly revealed her chipped tooth.Clearly the wife of Tom Cruise has missed a couple of dental appointments of late as she was seen looking less than polished as she headed to work yesterday.Dressed in a cropped black leather jacket, jeans and a sweater, Katie smiled for the cameras.But instead of her usual blinding white smile, in its place was a rather ropey looking snaggled toothed grin.It could be a case of missing veneers, or a loose crown or two, but clearly Katie is in need of an emergency trip to the dentist.

I like to base conclusions on nothing but stuff I made up just now, so with that in mind it's clear this has something to do with scientology.  If their dental technology is as advanced as their e-meter (cans attached to wires) technology, a scientology dentist will use a drill attached to a potters wheel that he pedals with his foot.  I'm sure novocain is somehow bad, so to make her comfortable Katie has to wear a special belt foretold in the prophecy by L Ron Hubbard.  It's big and silver and on the buckle is a Space Puma (who looks like a regular puma but with stars around him) inside an big red X.  Space Puma is also making a fist, letting Katies pain receptors know they’ll get a knuckle sandwich if they give her any trouble.

picture source = bauer griffin and splash