11.21.2008 ANGELINA JOLIE RUNS THE WORLD

According to the New York Times, Angelina Jolie (who looks disturbingly like Russell Brand in that picture) uses her fame and celebrity status to manipulate her press coverage and get almost complete control over the content in her interviews.  All celebrities ask for this, of course, the story here is that Jolie actually gets it.  

When Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt negotiated with People and other celebrity magazines this summer for photos of their newborn twins and an interview, the stars were seeking more than the estimated $14 million they received from the deal. They also wanted a hefty slice of journalistic input — a promise that the winning magazine’s coverage would be positive, not merely in that instance but into the future.
According to the deal offered by Ms. Jolie, the winning magazine was obliged to offer coverage that would not reflect negatively on her or her family, according to two people with knowledge of the bidding who were granted anonymity because the talks were confidential. The deal also asked for an “editorial plan” providing a road map of the layout, these people say.
The winner was People. The resulting package in its Aug. 18 issue — the magazine’s best-selling in seven years — was a publicity coup for Ms. Jolie, the Oscar winner and former Hollywood eccentric who wore a necklace ornamented with dried blood and talked about her fondness for knives before transforming herself into a philanthropist, United Nations good-will ambassador and devoted mother of six.

Oh that hot bitch.  She was already the sexiest bitch on earth, but it's even hotter to know she's this powerful.  It would be like having sex with a superhero, or god.  She should get one of those fortresses carved into a mountain, and a big wall of monitors that she can sit in front of in a big egg shaped chair.  And she could tap her fingers together and shout After Him You Fools if she sees something on the monitors she doesn’t like.  I can't be the only one who is super turned on right now.




(53) Comments

  1. DB's Treasure 11/21/2008 07:21

    Angelina Jolie runs the world and Kanye West is the voice of our generation…

    …someone wanna talk me out of using this noose on myself? 

  2. Big Smelly Dirt Cock 11/21/2008 07:22

    I'd be more than happy to let her run my personal Department of Boners, I bet she'd be good at it.

  3. SuperUberCoolGirl 11/21/2008 07:23

    If I were a lesbian I'd sit on her face an be the ruler of the world. 

  4. SuperB 11/21/2008 07:27

    …someone wanna talk me out of using this noose on myself? 

    just keep it on for a few more minutes…and don't forget "oatmeal" is the safety word, umkay babe

  5. Tyrone Biggums 11/21/2008 07:29

    If she runs the world, does that mean we'll all have to get tattoos like in Foxfire? I wouldn't mind, because then I'd get to see them titties up close and personal.

  6. Rusty Coat Hanger of Justice!!!!! 11/21/2008 07:29

    I'd like her to wear a necklace I gave her, and it wouldn't have any blood in it….. hopefully.

  7. Rick (with a silent P) 11/21/2008 07:30

    "…someone wanna talk me out of using this noose on myself? 

    just keep it on for a few more minutes…and don't forget "oatmeal" is the safety word, umkay babe"

    <—–blushing

  8. A.M. Lumber 11/21/2008 07:31

    Brad looks a little like an Allied Fighter Pilot from the war with that kick-ass 'stache, no?

  9. Paleomiz 11/21/2008 07:31

    Saving the world, one spawn or adoption at a time. I'd hate to be any of these kids when they find out they were here just so Angie could save other children in Biafra

  10. A.M. Lumber 11/21/2008 07:33

    Why don't they just just adopt a whole country. Surely they've got the equivalent to a few countries GDP in between the cushions of their couch…

  11. Rusty Coat Hanger of Justice!!!!! 11/21/2008 07:35

    She's got that sexy, I just took a bath in butter, look that Megan Fox always has. 

  12. RemSteale 11/21/2008 07:35

    So, she's okay looking and not stupid??

    Not much to bitch about really 

  13. Grim Reamer 11/21/2008 07:37

    She looks a little shiny, this adds to my plans of having her naked on a slipandslide covered in ky.

  14. dirtydiane 11/21/2008 07:37

    I'd consider strapping one on and letting her have it.  Definitely maybe.

  15. The Fried Man 11/21/2008 07:39

    …now get back in that kitchen and get me and Maddox a juice box bitch!

  16. Paparazzi Sniper 11/21/2008 07:39

    I dont know.  Sounds like she has got the madonna thing going with all the demands and stuff.  So basically she is a bitch that says you can right anything bad about me or i wont seel your magazines.  Thats not powerful thats stupid magazine people.

  17. pepper 11/21/2008 07:40

    Why go to other countries to save babies?

    They could be saving them in the grand old USA…Hey, why don't you save Bronx Mowgli Wentz… 

  18. POOLMAN 11/21/2008 07:41

    DirtyDiane, she is so powerful, she would take it off of you and use it on your ass

  19. Paleomiz 11/21/2008 07:42

    How many more kids before she has a basketball team?

  20. POOLMAN 11/21/2008 07:43

    How deep does she need to go on the bench Paleomiz? I think she has a starting 5 now with one back-up

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