OH GOD THIS IS NASTY

The News of the World says that Blake Fielder is leaving his wife Amy Winehouse for some German model I’ve never heard of, but way way more distressing than that is the graphic picture the News paints of Blake and Amy’s wild sex life, which apparently was filled with hardcore three-ways and whatever else they could think up.

The friend then revealed how Amy unveiled intimate details of her sex life with 26-year-old Blake.“It’s been a real eye-opener,” said our source. “Amy told me they were mad for each other, experimenting all the time.“Mostly it was Blake suggesting new things but Amy doesn’t need encouragement. They were like animals, at it all the time.“Just like they were with drugs, they pushed themselves to the limit.“They were into threesomes. It was Blake’s idea but Amy said she’d been with women before so it wasn’t a problem. She said she’s had a string of female lovers.“Whenever Blake said he wanted three-in-a-bed Amy would fix it.“They didn’t care about sharing themselves with others because it turned them on. They thought they were on this sexual journey together.“And the pair of them were into some real kinky stuff, not just the usual bondage and sex games but really gross stuff you couldn’t mention in a newspaper.

She says "experimenting" as if this was some lab controlled double-blind study overseen by the UKs top minds, code name: the Discovery Project.  And it might have been that, OR, another, more accurate way to describe it, would be that it was two filthy drug addicts with open sores, living in squalor and shoving a bunch of carrots up Amy's ass while some zombie with a nose bleed films it. This may be the most egregious description since a Taco Bell poster told me a "career" there would be "exciting".