I don’t know what madman thought it would be a good idea to do this years Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue without Marisa Miller, but I hope he got fired. I hope he got fired, I hope they stole his car, seduced his wife, punched his kids in the face and planted child pornography on his computer. Even worse, they filled the ginger spot with Brazilian mess Cintia Dicker and her terrifying amount of freckles. In fact when I saw this I hid under my bed and cried for like 10 minutes because I was so scared. But then I came out. I'm pretty brave, huh?