miss universe is here to help

By brendon March 06, 2009 @ 9:49 AM

I’m sure some horrific new Chris Brown details will come out soon enough, but until then, look, tits.  Because Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza of Venezuela, is at the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas this week.  I don’t know who is in charge of Venezuela, but they should replace their flag with that banner picture.  I started to look up who was in charge of Venezuela but it turns out that no one knows.  Mostly because I spelled it "Veniziela".  I was going to look it up with the correct spelling but I'm pretty quick to give up, and surrender at the slightest bit of adversity.

(163) Comments

  1. avatar
    Old_Perv 03/06/2009 10:21


  2. avatar
    Old_Perv 03/06/2009 10:21


  3. avatar
    Old_Perv 03/06/2009 10:21

    nice tits.. that’s better

  4. avatar
    Headly 03/06/2009 10:22

    Sweet! Just back from lunch and this is waiting for me!

    Gonna be a good day, Tater…

  5. avatar
    The PoolMan 03/06/2009 10:23

    about fucking time, titties

  6. avatar
    Observer 03/06/2009 10:24

    Thank goodness he mentioned Chris Brown in this post….or I would have never read it.

  7. avatar
    Watt(Power) 03/06/2009 10:25

    ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I’m sick of this damn Shit Brown Shit …..

    Oh hey look, titties. I give this post 30 minutes before its bumped off.

  8. avatar
    Rick (with a silent P) 03/06/2009 10:26

    In honor of this post, I have renamed my member “Rihanna” and my right hand “Chris Brown”…let the beatdown commence!

  9. avatar
    Observer 03/06/2009 10:26


    ….from a racial perspective…is she “human” or ape….because I’d fuck her either way.

    Question….why are “hispanics” not considered “white” in America….but anywhere else they will cut your cojones off to suggest otherwise?

  10. avatar
    DB's Treasure 03/06/2009 10:26

    I’d drink this girl’s piss.

  11. avatar
    Headly 03/06/2009 10:26

    Maybe we can arrange Chimp Brown to get house arrest at writer-dude’s place. The mutual beatings can only help us.

  12. avatar
    Zombie 03/06/2009 10:27

    I’ve never had Venezuelan pussy, is it spicy? It sure does look hot.

  13. avatar
    Observer 03/06/2009 10:27



    Plenty of toe on the slide and in the pool…

  14. avatar
    Observer 03/06/2009 10:28


    inspired FTW

  15. avatar
    The PoolMan 03/06/2009 10:28

    tastes like salsa zombie, if it is green/brown like guacamole, I would stay away from it

  16. avatar
    Fussy Bitch 03/06/2009 10:28

    Jugs and orbs and darts and gourds
    Elmer Fudds and bouncing Buddhas
    Sweater stretchers, lung protectors
    Beach umbrellas, frost detectors
    Scooby Snacks and snake-eyes dice
    Jell-o molds and high-beam lights ….YIPEE! now take off the top.

    More please. No more Chris “I’ll beat your grandmother Brown stories

  17. avatar
    SuperB 03/06/2009 10:28

    I like when I come back to hot ass….

  18. avatar
    DB's Treasure 03/06/2009 10:28

    Headly, nice Ron White reference!

  19. avatar
    Death to Finkle! 03/06/2009 10:28

    Nice rack.

  20. avatar
    Headly 03/06/2009 10:29

    If I was Hugo Chavez, I’d claim Prima Noctra, or whatever that law was in Braveheart where the village Lord gets to tap it before the husband.

    It’d be good to be El Presidente.

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