kim kardashian is going to die

By brendon April 17, 2009 @ 12:32 PM

Holy Crap!  Is Mexico a mile from the fucking sun because Kim Kardashian fell asleep on the beach there and this was the result.  She said on Twitter:

PLEASE HELP ME! I am so sunburned! I fell asleep with huge glasses on yesterday! This tan line is not ok!!!

I know this sucks for her but quite frankly she was asleep on a beach in Mexico on a Thursday in mid-April, taking a vacation from god knows what, so really she kiss my ass.  If she wants sympathy she’s gonna need to try harder than, “I got a sunburn because I was too relaxed at my tropical paradise.”  Next time I hope the chupacabra finds her, rolls her over and humps her.

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193 Comments

(193) Comments

  1. DB's Treasure 04/17/2009 12:51

    Lemme see that ass.

  2. Michael Hunt 04/17/2009 12:52

    I’d hit that twice.

  3. The Insidious Tony Stark 04/17/2009 12:52

    From the post: “Next time I hope the chupacabra finds her, rolls her over and humps her.”

    Ok, now that’s actually kind of funny.

  4. Big Smelly Dirt Cock 04/17/2009 12:54

    Man, I’d love give her an open-handed slap on that sunburned chest as hard as humanly possible and then run away.

    After I was done sexually defiling that filthy ass of hers first of course.

  5. DB's Treasure 04/17/2009 12:54

    He hopes Nicole Richie humps her?

  6. Zombie 04/17/2009 12:54

    I dedicate this video to KK and her negro athlete boyfriend-

    http://tinyurl.com/cew72a

  7. Sensei John Kreese 04/17/2009 12:54

    She’s got the same tan as the Mexicans that cut my grass.

  8. Fake FatOldElvis 04/17/2009 12:54

    I would perform the greatest Alabama hot pocket in history with her. Then return to my sweet Paris for more slop. What a great FMK list we have going on with todays posts. Fist

  9. CodPiece 04/17/2009 12:55

    I don’t think it was sunglasses … i’m guessing Reggie’s nutsack

  10. GeneralDouchery 04/17/2009 12:55

    BSDC…Reggie would catch you and pummel you

  11. leftnutofjesus 04/17/2009 12:56

    reggie’s the reason why they don’t show hard baby dick on tv.

    he’s hung like a mini-me.

  12. DB's Treasure 04/17/2009 12:59

    Nonsense, Sensei, Mexicans cannot afford big glasses.

  13. LAUNCHCODE 04/17/2009 13:00

    “Next time I hope the chupacabra finds her, rolls her over and humps her.”

    So does she!

  14. Michael Hunt 04/17/2009 13:00

    leftnutofjesus – KK is hung like a mini-me too.

  15. Sensei John Kreese 04/17/2009 13:00

    DB,

    Good point.

    So is it safe to say that you’d have died and gone to heaven if you could fuck her til her skin fell off?

  16. Pauly Dangerously 04/17/2009 13:01

    This is payback for giving the sun gonorrhea.

  17. el_jefe_tx 04/17/2009 13:01
  18. DB's Treasure 04/17/2009 13:02

    Pauly, the sun had a burning case of the gonorrhea…

  19. The Insidious Tony Stark 04/17/2009 13:02

    el jefe appears speechless… someone check on him make sure he’s ok

  20. Cali27 04/17/2009 13:02

    lol clintjones is offline.

    maybe next time.

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