A plan is in place for Lindsay Lohan to release two hardcore sex tapes. She has refused this offer several times already, but competing groups are now driving the price to insane heights. The producer loaning her the Maserati is not the only one in porn trying to get her to do this.
Very obviously, Lindsay Lohan isn’t gonna get gangbanged in a rented out bowling alley (that’s not a euphemism for her vagina by the way), but she can choose some guy she likes, fly to a resort and get it on her knees while he films it. The plan I heard says the tape will be released in two parts, a total of six hardcore scenes, claiming it was made during her trip to Mexico with Sam last September (here). The guy will remain anonymous.
Lindsay has no money. She has no job offers or decent endorsement deals. She has not agreed to do anything yet, in fact she has refused several times, but she is being offered millions, upfront, locked away for now but paid later while calling it a lawsuit settlement. I asked the odds that she would actually do this, I was told 1 in 4.
So there you go. At first this seems insane, but then two seconds later it seems about right. If she got real slutty, the movie would make hundreds of billions of dollars. Even the novel based on the movie would hit number 1. Personally, the minute I heard the dvd was done, I would wrap my penis in packing material just to make sure it stays safe until the big day.
Fist
Fist fist
Will she really take a Fist???
I just rubbed one out thinking about it.
“but she can choose some guy she likes, fly to a resort and get it on her knees while he films it.”
It already sounds much better than that feeble attempt at a porno that Ray J/KKKuntassian foisted on us…
APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She will end up doing porn. It will be so sad. So very sad.
I’ll still masturbate to it though…sadly.
New guy i hate the way you spread ridiculous rumors like a woman. That probbly why you have a vagina.
Arrgghhhhh, and I’m spent. Hmmm, now to see how my basketball brackets are doing.
“New guy i hate the way you spread ridiculous rumors like a woman. That probably explains why you have a vagina.”
Pap, that explains why he walks so funny…he keeps his legs spread the same way…
Is it weird that I will think about Cali when I masturbate LiHo’s porn?
Rick you ruined my comment with your ad-libb (how do you spell that..anyways) I can hang my own thank you and your comment was not funny.
The movie will be called The Freckle on Ms. Jones.
c’mon you guys can’t be this gullible? Lindsay will never do porn.
If she does, she is basically giving up ANY chance on her career taking off again.
I call “April Fools” on this post
Will you guys please start showing your privates in your avis again? Pretty please?
Pap…. did you just someone how to actually spell ad-lib…. you got it baby girl the first step is admitting there is a problem, the next is asking for help.
Somebody just give the kitten here a ball of tape to play with.
ohmmie i think about you when i take a dump.
Will be the nastiest porn movie since John Wane Bobbit.
Who wants to really see this nasty snatch. Get a life. Get a girlfriend. Get a hooker. Get something for Christ-sake.
That’s so fucking hot.