Mario Lopez is a real stud

Mario Lopez looked like a complete fairy when he threw out the first pitch at last nights Dodgers game, but it wasn’t his fault because they had him stand so far away. The pitchers mound is roughly 60 feet away, and Mario was about 10 feet in front of that. In Little League the mound is 49 feet away, so Mario was even further than those professionally trained 8-year-olds. He should get even closer to home plate. And when he’s about to throw it someone in an all green outfit could take the ball from his hands and run it over and put it in the catchers glove. Maybe even move the ball in some crazy pattern so it looks like Mario has this unhittable corkscrew pitch. What an athlete!