This months Vanity Fair has Jessica Simpson on the cover (here) and right across the top it says, “YOU CALL THIS FAT?” And “FAT” is in extra-big caps and italicized, as if to indicate that the person who said it was in disbelief at being called fat. And you have to admit, the pretend version of Jessica Simpson they have on the cover doesn’t look fat at all. She looks terrific. Similarly, here’s a picture of a bunny in a top hat and bow tie. I think someone’s got a hot date tonight, haha. Lookin good, Mr. B!
Meanwhile, back on earth, Jessica Simpson shouldn’t be daring people to call her fat when she’s very clearly fat. I’m sure if someone made me some Daisy Dukes with an elastic waistband I could fit into them too, that doesn’t mean I should or that anyone would think for one instant that I even vaguely resembled Daisy Duke.
(image source = pacific coast)
Hey, new writer dude, that was kinda funny.
Yeah, like you wouldn’t tap that….
I’d still crawl across broken glass with my nuts on a rusty razor blade just to dig through the dumpster her dirty panties were rumored to be in…
I call that PHAT!
Pork
Ham
And
Turkey
Denver420, it’s the same dumpster that pepper was conceived by/tossed into shortly after birth.
Row 2 Pic 2…bitch is trying to steal my White Chocolate Thunder “Thunda Thrust” ™…and she almost has my 3 large to properly pull it off…
“Yeah, like you wouldn’t tap that….”
Just because I have low standards and even lower self-esteem does not mean I want constant reminders…
Is that a hot dog or a second chin? And that muffin top is just fucking hot. I would so fuck that fat roll it’s not even funny.
also, she looks retarded in pic 6
Hey lady croft if that’s your real pic I’d fuck you before I’d fuck her.
“Pulls off the ‘mom’ jeans”? More like photog pulled off the greatest Photoshop fake since Tourist Guy…more airbrushed than ten years of Playboy model spreads…
LadyCroft…just pic 6???
“Hey lady croft if that’s your real pic I’d fuck you before I’d fuck her.”
He’s lying…he’d pick you first even if the pic wasn’t you, LadyCroft…
I’d still rotisserie roast this Ms. Piggy on my dick until my apple-tip came out of her mouth.
I’d fuck the country music out of that bitch.
Fat or not…..
As Randy Newman wrote and sang….and then was later covered by Joe Cocker…..
Here is what I’ll sing to the rabbit….
Raise your arms up in the air
Now shake ‘em
You give me reason to live
You give me reason to live
You give me reason to live
You give me reason to live
Sweet darling, (you can leave your hat on)
You can leave your hat on
Baby, (you can leave your hat on)
You can leave your hat on
(You can leave your hat on)
It’s always difficult to disguise the fat face….
fat is any girl who won’t fuck me!
Are Jessica Simpson and Kelly Clarkson the same person? Have we ever seen them in the same place at the same time?
OINK OINK