06.29.2009 Joe Jackson is devastated

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Michaels father Joe Jackson held a press conference with the Rev. Al Sharpton today, and it was every bit the understated and dignified affair as that made it sound. Is that a giant purple gorilla behind them? You know it brother. Fox News says…

“After plugging his record company, Michael Jackson’s father Joe said in a press conference outside his home Monday that the family was planning a large public funeral for the deceased singer.
Joe Jackson says planning for a funeral will await a finding (from a) second autopsy to be conducted on the King of Pop’s body, which they said is already underway.
But Joe Jackson says the funeral will not be closed to the public, as his son would likely have wanted a similar type of service.”

Yeah, when I think about Michael Jackson over the past 20 years, that’s what I picture.  Always out in public, in the middle of big crowds, happy as can be.  He’d also want to charge those people to get in to the funeral.  And he’d be really honored if you were to buy an I Was There t-shirt.  And he would want the concession stand to have a sense of humor, so a small hot dog would be called a “Kids Wiener”, and the “price you have to pay” is 8 million dollars each.  But a large hot dog is $4.50, so it’s just a joke.  You can still get a hot dog at the funeral.


(139) Comments

  1. cord 06/29/2009 18:13

    lets hope they bury al sharpton by accident

  2. dirtydiane 06/29/2009 18:13

    Are we seriously going to be cursed with Al Sharpton for the rest of eternity? Is that our punishment…that he gets to live forever and say stupid shit?

  3. Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 06/29/2009 18:14

    Please ENUFF with the god dam MJ coverage. He wrote Thriller, touched alot of kids penis’s, became drug addicted and lived in seclusion and debt for 10 years then died. End of fukking story. CAN WE PLEASE MOVE THE FUCK ON ALREADY!?!?!?!

  4. Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 06/29/2009 18:19

    And i think it’s a great idea that MJ’s parents are gonna get custody of his “kids”. I believe MJ on many occasions blamed his weirdness on his parents and his lack of childhood. I believe he also noted many time how violent and abusive his father was towords him as a young child. I think it’s a GREAT idea to let this guy raise some more kids. After all, Michael, Latoya, Jermaine, and Tito came out just fine.

  5. Rokan 06/29/2009 18:19

    I want one of those gorillas.

  6. Lo 06/29/2009 18:20

    Here comes Al Sharpton. Hang on to your wallets. Fucker!

  7. Rokan 06/29/2009 18:20

    Dirty Dirk,

    Let Joe work his magic on another generation of kids. They are balls deep in debt and someone’s gotta go out and make the money.

    Exploit ‘em all, I say!!!

  8. Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 06/29/2009 18:20

    Rokan, you are a wookie, can’t you simply blast Al Sharpton one day and then we can all be done with that worthless shine?

  9. Rokan 06/29/2009 18:29

    DDM,

    I think Tony is the man for that. He has anger issues, alot of munitions and I think the Acid Rock is starting to speak to him.

    I would like to grab that stupid fucker by the jowls and use his Brillo-head to wipe my ass. Shit gets stuck in the fur, you know.

  10. pepper 06/29/2009 18:30

    WTF does Al Sticky Fingers Sharpen have to do with this?
    …It’s like the movie, It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad World….everyone is looking for the money……

  11. Rokan 06/29/2009 18:32

    Hey Pepper,

    How’re they hangin?

  12. pepper 06/29/2009 18:39

    Rokan, you need to direct that question to Mr. Caradine.

  13. childAbuseVictim 06/29/2009 18:43

    PFfft Joe Jackson is lying. Remember he made his fortune through child abuse. It’s sad that Michael got all the child abuse jokes and rumours - I mean anyone who’s father was an actual animal is bound to have a hard time adjusting to the human world.

    I’d like to go to this, just so I can put that sad creature Joe down.

  14. pepper 06/29/2009 18:50

    Go to …… dlisted.com and watch the video…LOL, all he does is talk about his record company and how MJ was “LOved in every COUNTRY in the United States”
    He failed to mention that he is the reason why MJ was so fucked up!

  15. pepper 06/29/2009 18:54

    Caradine is Carradine

  16. Rokan 06/29/2009 18:56

    Pepper is Pepper.

  17. LuckyBastard 06/29/2009 18:56

    Such a loving father….he’ll be selling Michaels body parts on EBAY next week.

  18. pepper 06/29/2009 19:08

    They will have to do DNA tests on the parts. With all the inplants and plastic surgery, the parts may belong to some Mexican Prisoner….

  19. Rokan 06/29/2009 19:10

    I personally gave him a kidney, and a testicle.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    I had three.

  20. LuckyBastard 06/29/2009 19:22

    I want to see a DNA test on those three white kids of “his”"….

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