Kate rocks her bikini bod

Stuff like that headline, or, oh, better yet, “This woman has 8 kids?!?!” is the kind of thing that would be here if this was Entertainment Tonight or People, or if it was the beginning of our journey to the land of make believe.

I’m sure tons of women would love to convince us Kate looks good because it lowers the bar for all of them, but she doesn’t. She looks like shit. That she had 8 kids is irrelevant. My penis is like a great white shark: it can’t be bargained with, it can’t be reasoned with, it doesn’t care about explanations or excuses. Look at Denise Milani. She’s a girl, and she’s at the beach just like Kate. So why doesn’t Kate look like Denise? Is it laziness? Selfishness? It might be all that and more, but there are just as many Denise pictures as ones of Kate below, so hopefully this will help balance Kate’s monster-like appearance.