Enough already

Okay I’m not doing this anymore after this but someone sent me and K-Dub another dating question. We told each other we’d answer it. I don’t know why anyone thought this would be a good idea. I rarely have any idea WTF I’m talking about in case you hadn’t noticed. They want to know how long to wait until you introduce your boyfriend/girlfriend to your friends and parents. I would say that friends are no big deal.  That can happen from the first or second date as far as I’m concerned, because I’m a popular entertainer beloved by all.  Family, on the other hand, can be a problem.  Because if I’ve dated the girl for more than a few months, I’ve almost definitely spun some intricate web of lies that I now must either admit to (no) or dance around all night (yes).

To do that you’re gonna have to be prepared for drastic action.  If the wrong topic comes up, you’re gonna have to change the subject fast.  A good idea is to either start a fire or fake your own death.  Go with fire because with death you have to flail around and stuff.  For fire, all you have to do is order a double vodka straight up and keep it near the candle.  Just be careful when you “accidentally” spill the vodka and then tip the flame into it, because you’re supposed to start a fire OR flail around, not one then the other.