07.14.2009 Guess who drove away Tony Romo

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Whenever a thousand different people all say the same thing about one particular person, it’s probably because they’ve all conspired against him and are making up a bunch of crazy stories.  Like all the ones you hear about Joe Simpson interfering with Jessica and driving her life right into the ground.  If that were true, wouldn’t he have ruined her relationship with Tony Romo?

Oh wait nevermind.  Fox News says…

Jessica’s manager/father Joe Simpson’s meddling ways most likely took its toll on the relationship, which is the reason why they split the first time fourteen months ago. We’re told Joe promised he’d take a step back when the couple reunited but he was still too involved in his daughter’s private life.  “At one point Joe was even giving Tony football advice which doesn’t go down well,” said an insider.

God this dude is dumb as a rock.  Jess can be super hot.  She has a huge rack and a sweet endearing personality.  If “Jessica” and “A Successful Career” were part of a puzzle, they would be the only two pieces, and they would both be identical red squares.  And Joes job would be to push them together.  And that’s it.  Instead when you check on him 5 hours later, one of the pieces has been drawn on with a marker and folded into a little tent, and the other piece is missing but Joe is quickly chewing something and trying to swallow before telling you where it is.

(144) Comments

  1. pepper 07/14/2009 14:12

    Daddy wants those fun bags to himself…GOD bless him!

  2. SCUM 07/14/2009 14:12

    BOOBS are the devils plaything.

  3. DB's Treasure 07/14/2009 14:13

    nigz and pigz

  4. SCUM 07/14/2009 14:13

    Open mouth, insert penis.

  5. Zombie 07/14/2009 14:14

    Damn look at the veins in them chesticles. One might say Tony is an idiot for getting rid of that, but then you have to take into account that he’s been hitting it for years… time to move on to new talent.

    *cough**Taylor Swift is**cough**legal now**cough**

  6. SCUM 07/14/2009 14:15

    My freshly manscaped parts want to jelly her belly.

  7. SCUM 07/14/2009 14:17

    I like the sound of Tony and Steve Bono-Romo.

  8. Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 07/14/2009 14:17

    great, more news about this annoying fatty.

  9. Tits McGee 07/14/2009 14:17

    Tony Faggot is a Romo.

  10. Tits McGee 07/14/2009 14:19

    Jessica Simpson looks like the type of girl that would say dicks are icky. And then she would eat an entire thing of icing.

  11. DB's Treasure 07/14/2009 14:19

    Zombie, just remember behind every gorgeous, big breasted woman is a man who is sick and tired of her shit. And I imagine Jessica comes with boat loads.

  12. SCUM 07/14/2009 14:20

    Don’t do it Db ^^^^^

  13. Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 07/14/2009 14:20

    can someone explain to me the last paragraph of this post? because it makes NO FUKKING SENSE!

  14. Jean-Claude Van Douche 07/14/2009 14:21

    McGee - That was slick man, so slick.

  15. Rick (with a silent P) 07/14/2009 14:23

    “We’re told Joe promised he’d take a step back when the couple reunited but he was still too involved in his daughter’s private life.”

    Translation? Daddy Joe still wanted his daily hummer and weekly conjugal visit…

  16. Jean-Claude Van Douche 07/14/2009 14:24

    McGirk - NPD is trying to be funny. What you are seeing is epic failure of that endeavor.

  17. ohmwrecker 07/14/2009 14:25

    McGirk, I think NPD was trying to accentuate Joe Simpson’s ineptitude as a manager by comparing him to a dimwitted child.

  18. Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 07/14/2009 14:27

    Thanks guys. I guess i’m not fluent if “fukking retard” like NPD is. Sorry for the earlier fits, feeling much better now.

  19. ohmwrecker 07/14/2009 14:30

    I bet Jessica is feeling hurt and unwanted. She may be questioning her capacity to love again. She probably just wants to feel attractive again.

    This seems like an awesome opportunity to . . . Fuck Jessica Simpson!

    I’m going to Dallas!

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