Mary Louise Parker is hot, naked

By brendon July 08, 2009 @ 7:54 PM


Mary Louise Parker is in this months Esquire magazine, and you have to hand it to the foppish dandies over there, because they’ve once again managed to describe a super hot naked girl in the gayest way possible.

A few times now you’ve given Esquire your image – your long platinum neck, your deep Guinness eyes staring out from the photos, your movie-star nose, twitched a little, your long body lounging on our pages.

I have no idea what Lord Queerington is talking about, but that’s nothing new with Esquire and GQ. They should rename those magazines Restraining Order Digest and Exfoliating Weekly because that’s all they ever fucking talk about. A magazine about socks and truffle oil for guys is about as useful as a fantasy football guide for girls. Oh, what’s that Esquire? Brooches? For men? Ohhh, do I dare?!?!

(hq jump here. two full size pics here and here)

(331) Comments

  1. avatar
    Rokan 07/09/2009 00:03

    Sorry, Tom. Next Tuesday-Friday 14th-17th. I will be in Tucson, Phoenix and Fort Myers FL the week of the 27th. Anyone?

  2. avatar
    Headly 07/09/2009 00:04

    “….I can only wonder what you know about that place.”

    (said in my best Dennis Hopper voice)

    Bad things, man…bad things.

  3. avatar
    Rokan 07/09/2009 00:05

    Mumbles, this is quite an International group with the Brits and the Europeans on the dayshift. Lora is from Scotland, or Ireland, I can never remember, but I think you are the only Aussie.

    Sounds very interesting.

  4. avatar
    Headly 07/09/2009 00:06

    I’ve never quite “recovering”, Mumbles. It’s either “drinking” speed or “I need more breath mints, does anyone have any goddam advil for the love of Christ?” speed.

  5. avatar
    Headly 07/09/2009 00:07

    She’s Irish, Rokan, studying in Scotland. According to, that is….

  6. avatar
    Tom Foolery 07/09/2009 00:08

    Rokan I believe you missed Lora dropping by a few weeks back. Just letting you know

  7. avatar
    Rokan 07/09/2009 00:09

    I know I’m stoned, but that made me laugh very hard Headly.

    Its interesting the different tone here at night, isn’t it?

    Did you ever wonder how many people are watching? Oh fuck, I’m getting paranoid again.

    I swear that when i get stoned I remember that this is open to the world and I start to wonder if there are hundreds or thousands of people watching us.
    Apparently this site is very popular, even though no one I know has ever heard of it. Go figure.

  8. avatar
    Mumbles McGinty 07/09/2009 00:09

    I have noticed some others very around the globe ..its a good thing. I think there might be another Aussie on here, as they mentioned Vegimte the other day …. hate the shit but most Aussie’s love it …
    I have found 99% of the people good value, just your Fake CB and that TLC guy …hey now there’s a match up let those two go at it.

  9. avatar
    Headly 07/09/2009 00:11

    “Dr No” is on the box, gents. USA network.

    That fuckin’ Sean Connery. Now there’s a role model for today’s youth. Dress nice, have a drink, don’t be afraid to kick the shit outta someone occasionally, and for hit everything that moves.

    Cheers, Mr Bond!

  10. avatar
    Rokan 07/09/2009 00:11

    Tom, I did get to talk to Lora. She’s very nice.

    She’s fucking 19 or something like that!! Can you believe that?
    I’ve scored a 27 year old since I left my wife, but 19 . . . That aint right.

    Would you hit a 19 year old, Headly?

  11. avatar
    Rokan 07/09/2009 00:12

    Ursala Andress was a hot piece of ass!!

  12. avatar
    Tom Foolery 07/09/2009 00:13

    “James Bond encounters a nefarious scientist in Jamaica”. Sounds like a party to me. Never saw this. Cant start one hour in.

  13. avatar
    Headly 07/09/2009 00:14

    Same here, Rokan. I heard of this site when some DJs mentioned it, but no one else I know has, or visits it. But it’s like some sort of secret society…of weirdness, but secret nonetheless.

  14. avatar
    Mumbles McGinty 07/09/2009 00:14

    Excellent call on that Rokan …great body, and that surly look …

    Enjoy the stone … who gives a shit what your doing or feeling …

  15. avatar
    Tom Foolery 07/09/2009 00:15

    Rokan, she is well spoken for a nineteen year old. She is cute, like puppy dog cute. Her personality elevates her past our borderline retarded SoCal girls.

  16. avatar
    Rokan 07/09/2009 00:16

    Ive seen it a bunch of times, Tom. He’s gonna wait for someone then fuck him up. Gotta have a drink first though.

    I’m glad he fucked her before he turned her in. Man’s gotta have priorities.

  17. avatar
    Mumbles McGinty 07/09/2009 00:16

    Gentlemen , it has been an absolute pleasure this evening / morning chatting with you.

    I bid you farewell till next time.

  18. avatar
    Rokan 07/09/2009 00:17

    Mango, banana and tangerine . . .

  19. avatar
    Rokan 07/09/2009 00:17

    Later Mumbles. What the hell time is it there?

  20. avatar
    Headly 07/09/2009 00:18

    Rokan, I actually did hit a 19 year old about three years ago, and as fabulous as her body was, I couldn’t deal with two things:

    1. Other than a mutual fodnness for sex, we had nothing-NOTHING-in common, and
    2. I was only two years younger than her dad, a nice little fact she brought up enough to be uncomfortable for me. She loved it. BAD daddy issues.

    Since then I haven’t strayed under 29.

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