Jessica Simpson sang the National Anthem yesterday at the opening ceremony of the Tiger Tourney, a charity golf event in Bethesda, Maryland, hosted by Tiger Woods. So here are some pictures and the amazing true facts behind them.
PICTURE 1 - holy fucking shit.
PICTURE 9 - most girls find my 14 pound penis to be “too big”. Could Jessica be the woman I’ve been searching for?
PICTURE 15 - people say there’s never any black people on Tyler, but here you can kind of see Tiger Woods’ ear, and this appears to be his chin. Suck on that, critics!
PICTURE 16 - horizontal stripes, huh? That was a … uh, interesting … interesting choice. Um … you know what never mind.
PICTURE 23 - here, Jessica laid a few fingers on boyfriend Tony Romo. Out of habit he then threw the ball to the safety and fell down.
PICTURE 30 - he’s making that face because he just came in his pants.
(16 more pics here. hq jump here)
Well those are appealing
was it uh..cold on the course?
Maybe she had those nipple implants done??
Them’s some tigols. Ill bet B would motor boat that shit
I see your Jessica Simpson, NPD and raise you this…
http://tinyurl.com/lpmjj4 (initially SFW)
Enjoy…
She’s like the Freddy Krueger of my dreams!
I accidently clicked the “full size” on one of the Jessica Simpson pictures and got a pic of her in her “mom jeans”…
accidentally^
i bet when she took off that dress her back looked like she’d been stuck to one of them plastic lawn chairs.
watching her sing is like watching a retard with palsy play banjo. both horrifying and sad at the same time.
Watt, there was an episode of Pitchmen last night where Mays first discovers the Shamwow and gets pissed because it’s a replica of one of his own pitched products (Zorbeez) that was created 2 years prior. He goes on a rampage talking shit about Shamwow, shooting commercials rudely directed at Vince, and does a number of public demonstrations trying to prove his version is better than the competitor. In the end, the results show that Mays wound up kicking ass in sales.
“PICTURE 30 - he’s making that face because he just came in his pants.”
That’s what happens when a golfer grips his wood too hard…
Only a flaming homo who loves tree trunk size cocks in his ass would not want to fuck JS!
I’d obliterate her vag and start working on her ass!
I dig the dress and all, but isn’t she aware that horizontal lines on a dress/shirt actually makes you look wider? I only say this cause she’s had blatant issues with weight. I’m built like a cinderblock and you won’t ever catch me wearing horizontal lines.
Hmm.. So you don’t like her music then DD?
By the way, I paint my dick to look like the hat from The Cat In The Hat.
yeah, but even with the stripes, she looks slimmer here than in previous shit.
I am banking on some serious spanx under there…
I take it Freddy Krueger is out of the question for a Halloween costume, huh DB?
Z. He shall be missed
Can someone explain her hip in picture 30? Is that just the work of the horizontal lines?
Zombie, I am not one to wear a mask or much facial makeup for my Halloween costumes. So Freddy would be out nonetheless.