ohai

Jessica Simpson sang the National Anthem yesterday at the opening ceremony of the Tiger Tourney, a charity golf event in Bethesda, Maryland, hosted by Tiger Woods.   So here are some pictures and the amazing true facts behind them.

PICTURE 1 – holy fucking shit.

PICTURE 9 – most girls find my 14 pound penis to be “too big”.  Could Jessica be the woman I’ve been searching for?

PICTURE 15 – people say there’s never any black people on Tyler, but here you can kind of see Tiger Woods’ ear, and this appears to be his chin. Suck on that, critics!

PICTURE 16 – horizontal stripes, huh? That was a … uh, interesting … interesting choice. Um … you know what never mind.

PICTURE 23 – here, Jessica laid a few fingers on boyfriend Tony Romo. Out of habit he then threw the ball to the safety and fell down.

PICTURE 30 – he’s making that face because he just came in his pants.

(16 more pics here. hq jump here)