Jessica Simpson sang the National Anthem yesterday at the opening ceremony of the Tiger Tourney, a charity golf event in Bethesda, Maryland, hosted by Tiger Woods. So here are some pictures and the amazing true facts behind them.
PICTURE 1 - holy fucking shit.
PICTURE 9 - most girls find my 14 pound penis to be “too big”. Could Jessica be the woman I’ve been searching for?
PICTURE 15 - people say there’s never any black people on Tyler, but here you can kind of see Tiger Woods’ ear, and this appears to be his chin. Suck on that, critics!
PICTURE 16 - horizontal stripes, huh? That was a … uh, interesting … interesting choice. Um … you know what never mind.
PICTURE 23 - here, Jessica laid a few fingers on boyfriend Tony Romo. Out of habit he then threw the ball to the safety and fell down.
PICTURE 30 - he’s making that face because he just came in his pants.
(16 more pics here. hq jump here)
Nimsu - - see above.
DB,
I would totally fuck her, cause I like a big round bunch of curves sometimes, and fat girls usually do anal if you can get them at the right angle.
But if you think she’s not overweight, step up to the counter Son, cause I am gonna sell you this beautiful bridge in Brooklyn!
Jess is sucking it in pretty hard in most of these pics - I’m guessing her voice doesn’t sound right through the entire song. That’s just me
“No FFOE. I don’t that’s a good use of my time.”
What are you trying to say Stark?
Fist™
Lo: agreed, but her voice doesn’t ever sound “right” in my limited viewing/listening experience.
FFOE, don’t worry about that; just have a few dozen chili and cheese burgers.
Rokan, when I picture overweight I picture a woman with frumpy features; a flat muffin ass, muffin top, 2 or more gut rolls and a turkey neck…not to mention those fat elbows obese people get that looks like 30 pounds of dead flesh had a staple driven through the center of it. Jessica is just a thicker girl. If you ask me, I’d take her in a heart beat and I’d beg her not to lose a pound.
the sound of her voice makes my dogs’ ears bleed
I have to agree with deebs, she looks nice and curvy
Stark, I’ve made a decision to eat healthier. After my failed attempt to get on the Biggest Loser, I have switched to an all vegetarian diet to drop pounds and save some money.
Fist™
However, I am not much of a fan of Jessica’s cause when her and Nick split up she went around to tabloids sayin he’s gotta small bird. That’s just not Kosher. It’s been said before but…we men don’t stand behind a counter picking these fuckers out like some wench at Tiffany’s picking out a wedding band. We work with what we were given. There’s men with giant dorks who couldn’t get a 1,000 pound G spot off and then there’s gentlemen like me who got a 6 inch warrior that could put Jenna Jameson into a coma.
You play Jessica Simpson music to your dogs? Should the ASPCA be informed??
DB,
Didn’t you just describe the “Old hen,” you work with, with the tight ass who sharted in her sweat pants the other day?
She’s starting to look pretty good to you right now, isn’t she?
And to eat your ass deebs?
Rokan, that’s the tiny hobbit-like cretin who’s got a flabby muffin ass and sausage arms who pooted in her sweatpants. She wouldn’t look good to me after 50 years in prison and a permanent hard dick.
Jemaine Jackson to Matt Lauer:
“He went too soon,” the singer’s big brother added. “I wish that it was me. I’ve always felt that I was his backbone, someone to be there for him. I was there and he was sort of like Moses. The things he couldn’t say, I would say them.”
I agree, MJ was just like Moses, you know the drug-addicted kiddie-dick sucking one form the Bible.
That Moses.
“from” the Bible.
Fucking fuck!!!!!
Db -
what are you doing with a pissed off profile pic of Brian Austin Green as your avi?
i don’t like her, or her “singing”, but i think jessica is gorgeous
Duk, that’s me.