07.09.2009 Please kill yourself

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There’s a very good reason why Gwyneth Paltrow is widely considered the most annoying person in Hollywood.  If you’ve forgotten what that might be, here’s her latest newsletter to talk down to you remind you.

As I write this, I am finishing the amazing three-week-long “Clean” detox program detailed below … I feel pure and happy and much lighter (I dropped the extra pounds that I had gained during a majorly fun and delicious “relax and enjoy life phase” about a month ago).

A “relax and enjoy life phase”?  Oh, that’s a good idea. I don’t know why I never thought of that. I need to spend summers in Spain and Paris like you recommend too. I just hope Gwyneth stays with us forever. She’s so wonderful I worry she might transform into a beam of pure radiant energy, with only her loving, omnipotent spirt to smile down on us from above.

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30 Comments

(30) Comments

  1. SCUM 07/09/2009 14:21

    <<<<<<<<<<<<< Girl #397.

  2. SCUM 07/09/2009 14:22

    I am a special child cause I was first.

  3. Big Smelly Dirt Cock 07/09/2009 14:25

    I would emit a hearty guffaw were she to get hit by a bus on the way to see this detoxification specialist. In fact I would laugh all the way to Wendy’s to pick up four Baconators and wash them down with whiskey.

  4. Slaappy 07/09/2009 14:26

    Chris Martin deserves a fresh anal tongue dart as the next guy! Right DB?

  5. incubus whore 07/09/2009 14:26

    Hi.New to the site

  6. Zombie 07/09/2009 14:28

    I am a special child cause I was first born retarded.

    FIXED!

  7. Big Smelly Dirt Cock 07/09/2009 14:29

    Hi Incubus, welcome to the site. Unless you really like Incubus.

    But if you’re really a whore I guess that’s okay.

  8. Bella 07/09/2009 14:29

    Delusions of grandeur much you pretentious cunt…

    I wish Mario Batali would poison her or worse yet, make her fat…

  9. Rick (with a silent P) 07/09/2009 14:29

    They obviously didn’t fully cleanse Gwyneth…had they actually removed from her body all the impacted feces that fills it, only her skin would remain…

  10. Lo 07/09/2009 14:29

    Suddenly I miss the Morgan Freeman post. It’s a crime this chick is in “Iron Man”.

  11. Lo 07/09/2009 14:31

    Bella, I think it’s just good breeding that makes her a pretentious cunt. Her mother always evoked the same reaction from me that she does.

  12. fukka diddle 07/09/2009 14:31

    cunt.

  13. incubus whore 07/09/2009 14:32

    Sometimes a whore

  14. Lo 07/09/2009 14:32

    Then WELCOME, incubus!

  15. DB's Treasure 07/09/2009 14:32

    I’d cum boat loads into Gweneth. Love that name….Gweneth.

  16. DB's Treasure 07/09/2009 14:34

    inc whore, you shave? trim? let that beast yeast?

  17. incubus whore 07/09/2009 14:34

    Thanks. Been lurking for a few. U guys are great except for that FAKE bitch.

  18. Rick (with a silent P) 07/09/2009 14:34

    luckily for us all…new thread…and “Moore” to love…

  19. Bella 07/09/2009 14:35

    Her Mom was good on Huff, so, I give her a pass…

    Her Dad’s dead, so, blame him…

  20. incubus whore 07/09/2009 14:35

    smooth cat

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