The memorial will be free

The good news for fans hoping to attend the Michael Jackson memorial on Tuesday is that they won’t have to buy $25 tickets.  The bad news is that they can’t buy $25 tickets.  Instead it’s now up to a lottery (here) to see how sad and empty their life is if they’re the big winner!

17,500 seats are available for the memorial at Staples Center and 11,000 more are available for the simulcast down the street at the Nokia Theatre.  The Nokia will be exactly like watching it on TV, except for being much much worse in every way.

Still, it was nice of the Jackson family to make it free.  Oh wait never mind.  Radar says…

“The family was not going to announce they were charging for several more days. Backed into a corner by the bad publicity, family members had heated closed door discussions and many arguments on Thursday. They decided the only way they could save face with fans was to drop the plan to charge.”

If LA wants to clean itself up, they should wait for all 30,000 people to show up and then just lock the doors.  It’s not gonna be the team behind the Large Hadron Collider.  It’s gonna be Billy Bush and Mary Hart and Joe Jackson and 800 lawyers and an army of delusional retards who the only thing they had to take time off from was clogging up 911 with calls about “that bitch is crazy, you needa arrest her ass”.  They should lock the doors and then it turns out they actually climbed aboard a rocket and then just shoot that thing right into the sun.