todays top story

Jayde Nicole, star of “the Hills”, Playboy, and my erotic fantasies, wore some cruelty-free bikini to hand out vegetairan hot dogs today on Capitol Hill, apprently under the impression that getting Senators to masturbate will somehow fix whatever it is the hippies are complaining about now.

On the other side is a close up of Jayde from the waist down (not my edit, I’d like to add). The pic is taken slightly from the right, but don’t bother moving to the left and trying to see her kitty. I just ended up running in circles, convinced if I moved left faster it would work. But then as I ran around and around towards the left I got dizzy and fell down and slammed against the counter and I knocked a glass over and it broke and I fell on it and now the doctor says I have hepatitis.

(3 more pics here.  hq jump here.  image source = splash news online)