JOHN GOSSELIN – filmed scenes today for “John and Kate Plus 8” where the adorable kids sell lemonade to raise money for a fire station and he wears a shirt that says “Lies Lies Lies…”. “Because screw those kids,” John probably thought to himself. ” It’s not ‘8 Plus John’. Me me me!”
CHRIS BROWN – will be sentenced today, at 2pm pct, after pleading guilty to assaulting Rihanna. He’s expected to get 180 days of community service and 5 years of probation. This was unexpectedly moved from Thursday to today to avoid a media circus. I’d be great at that sort of thing. I’m quick witted, and I’m so pretty I really don’t even need makeup.
LINDSAY LOHAN – I actually had a dream about her (seen here jewelry shopping yesterday) last night where a bunch of people were doing some financial intervention, including me and the mayor of New York who appeared to be the black guy from Fringe. The words haven’t been invented yet to explain how depressing this was. I really gotta get laid.