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He killed himself

August 24, 2009 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments

Ryan Jenkins, the dude who was a finalist on the VH1 show “Megan Wants a Millionaire” last month but more to the point chopped up his wife and shoved her in a suitcase last week, was found dead last night in a secluded budget motel in British Columbia, Canada. And this isn’t really related but you can get some kick ass weed up there. The AP says…

On Sunday evening, police responded to a call from motel staff about a dead person, and then called investigators who were part of the manhunt for Jenkins.
The manager of The Thunderbird Motel and his nephew said they found Jenkins hanging from the bar of a coat rack by a belt. They said a young woman had checked him in to the two-story inn surrounded by trees.

I’m glad they mentioned what the motel was surrounded by. It would have ruined the whole story had I not known. And even though he went out like a panicky little woman, other motel guests said Jenkins last days were grim.

Walker said he saw a man walk past his own balcony at the motel — a man who would later turn out to be Jenkins.
“In no way shape or form did he look like the man on TV,” he said. “He looked spent.”
“He didn’t look like the Ryan Jenkins I’d seen. He looked like a man at the end of his rope.”

Hahaha. I just wanted to include that part about him being at the end of his rope. And one of the cops said, “The ring was tightening around him.” I like to think these Canadians were doing a bunch of hanging puns but probably not. “I told him to hang in there. Times would be tough but if he tightened his belt he’d get through it.”

I think it was the Egyptians who used to take a cow and slice open it’s stomach and then sew a prisoner inside it up to his neck, where only his head was sticking out. The mans knees were pulled up to his chest and bound along with his hands and feet so he wasn’t going anywhere. Then they would put the dead cow on the bank of a river and just let it bake in the sun. So the dude would sit there in this rotting flesh with that smell and ooze and all the bugs crawling on his face, and of course crocodiles and buzzards and all that. I wish there was some way to bring this Ryan dude back to life so we could kill him again like that. But we probably wouldn’t be allowed to, now that all these pussy Democrats are in charge.

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