‘90210′ star AnnaLynne McCord proved once again that she understands how being a girl works by wearing this tiny skirt with a huge hole cut out the front. This girl just knows how to be sexy. That’s why I thought it would be a good idea to make an AnnaLynne McCord sex robot. But after I got done it told me it was gay. So I made another one, who turned out to be real religious. Number 3 was married. Robots 4, 5, and 6 claimed to not speak english, while robots 8-15 all valued me as a friend too much to risk losing me after a physical relationship. And I said, “but … but you’re a sex robot.” And it rubbed the side of my arm and said, “I know. I know.”
Like many women, the promise of a trip to Las Vegas made this girl drop to the floor and spread her legs faster than Lindsay Lohan at an audition. Like many awesome women, she did this while not wearing underwear. Unlike many women, this girl was a contestant on last nights ‘So You Think You Can Dance’. Needless to say, I screencapped and brightened the hell out of that.
As you listen to the television producers of ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ feed lines and direction to Khloe Kardashian, telling her what to say and think and do during her own wedding, keep in mind this is supposed to be a real person during a “reality” show. It feels like you could spin her around and find a little panel in her back because she’s a robot. That’s a dumb idea of course, but it makes at least as much sense as thinking that big moose is a human girl from earth.
ANNOYING UPDATE: this audio was originally on TMZ but now it’s down everywhere, so here’s a transcript of what was said. You’re just gonna have to take my word on it.
WOMAN: And I also wanna get that Bruce and Khloe beat, where Khloe tells Bruce that she thinks…she considers him a real dad(*).
MAN: I think that should happen, like, literally right before they walk down the aisle, don’t you think?
WOMAN: I doubt she’s gonna be thinking that right when they walk down the aisle, but when he’s in there with her, after he walks her mom, it can happen.
MAN: Ok, sounds good.
WOMAN: Finally, when Bruce comes up for Khloe – and that’s where you can get your beat, where Khloe says that thing to Bruce – she backpedals just for, like, maybe 10 steps and then let her go because Abby’s gonna pick her coming down the line.
(*) note: her actual real dad, OJ Simpson defense attorney Robert Kardashian, died in 2003.
Star and Us magazine both run cover stories today saying that Justin Timberlake has broken up with Jessica Biel, with Star adding “for Rihanna”, and yet Justin and Jessica were allegedly out together just last night, looking very much un-broken up as they held hands on the way to dinner. So what’s the truth?
Well, the magazines gain nothing by lying, but if Justin and Jessica can fool people into thinking they’re dating, then the world is theirs for the taking! Their powers grow with each day they fool us, soon there will be no stopping them!
LADY GAGA - is defending Kanye Wests behavior at the VMAs. “He’s a good guy and everybody makes mistakes, and he feels so f****** bad. He really does. Everyone likes to focus on gossip, but he’s changed music and he’s really prolific and an incredible person, and I think it’s unfair to judge somebody on one mistake they’ve made.” This should help change your opinion about Kanye, from now until the moment you read the very next sentence. (the sun)
KANYE WEST - threw a hissy fit at benefit show organized by Common. “After spotting a man eating chicken, West blurted, ‘Why wasn’t I offered chicken? You want me to perform for free, [and] everyone is eating… why am I not eating?’ When the waitress explained that he never asked for food, ‘He yelled, ‘Well, I’m asking now!’ After receiving chicken, he allegedly proceeded to take a bite and then throw the rest in the trash.” No one was injured, but this picture of a baby panda was taken at the scene. (vibe)
WOLVERINE, JAMES BOND - the new play “A Steady Rain,” starring Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig, has set the Broadway record for the highest weekly ticket sales of a non-musical play, earning $1.17 million. The old record was 41 dollars, set back before “things that are fun” was invented. (reuters)
HEATHER LOCKLEAR - made her first appearance on the set of ‘Melrose Place’ yesterday, and she looked awesome considering she’s 48. Ashlee “Second Best” Simpson had this to say, “aww god dammit.” (pacific coast. hq jump here)
In 1977, Roman Polanski was 44-years-old and one of the most prominent directors in Hollywood. In March of that year, during a private photo shoot with a 13-year-old girl named Samantha Gailey, he gave her champagne, quaaludes and a sedative. Then, despite her telling him that she wanted to go home and “no” and “stop” while he forced himself on her, he performed oral sex, intercourse and sodomy on her. To put it another way, he drugged a child then fucked her in the ass while she begged him to stop.
But Whoopi Goldberg thinks we need to relax, because that’s not really “rape”.
“The language that we use here is very important, because, (rape) is not the allegation…
I know it wasn’t rape-rape… All I’m trying to get you to understand, is when we’re talking about what someone did, and what they were charged with, we have to say what it actually was not what we think it was…
Initially he was charged with rape, and then he pled guilty to having sex with a minor, okay. And then he went to jail, and when they let him out, he said “you know what, this guy’s going to give me a hundred years in jail, I’m not staying.” And that’s why he left…
We’re a different kind of society. We see things differently. The world sees 13 year olds and 14 year olds in the rest of Europe… not everybody agrees with the way we see things…”
Ahh, well, okay. Now I feel silly. We can’t judge. He’s from Europe, where fucking children in the ass as they beg for mercy is all the rage. I was holding him to our arbitrary standards of right and wrong. God, I hate me. I’m the worst. I’m gonna send him a gift basket to apologize, then throw a rock at the trouble-making whore Samantha.
(source = newsbusters. read Samanthas grand jury testimony here)
