People freak out whenever I call babies ugly, as if the f*cking baby is gonna read this and get it’s feelings hurt, but I’m pretty sure the rule giving them immunity was made before … um … before whatever the hell that is was born. According to her website, it’s Katherine Heigl with her newly adopted “special needs” baby from Korea. According to things I learned in comic books, it’s clearly a super baby who one day will rob banks by walking through it’s walls as police bullets bounce harmlessly off it’s impenetrable folds of lumpy skin.
I don’t like kids anyway, and I especially hate babies, but I very much do like Asian girls, and most little Asian kids are absolutely god damn adorable, way cuter than little white kids who usually suck, but this. Yikes. Was this adoption agency reputable? Because it’s like someone shaved a shar pei and gave her that. And by the time Katherine figures it out the check will have cleared. “Ha-ha, I got you money, Round Eye!”, Korea will say. “Dog baby you problem now, Woof-Woof!”