anna nicole smith: murderer!

When Anna Nicole Smith married oil-millionaire Howard Marshall in 1994, she was 26 and he was 89. He died just about one year later, no doubt smiling. This began the legal fight for his fortune, estimated at around 550M.  Marshalls son, not unreasonably, thought Smith didn’t deserve her dads money and so he took her to court. Smith could either walk away from the money or fight for it in court. Oh and there was one more option: MURDER!!!

The FBI investigated whether Anna Nicole Smith plotted to kill her tycoon husband’s son as they battled for his father’s fortune, but the former Playboy Playmate who died in 2007 was never prosecuted.
Smith’s FBI records, obtained exclusively by The Associated Press, say the agency investigated Smith in 2000 and 2001 in a murder-for-hire plot targeting E. Pierce Marshall … (he) died three years ago of natural causes.

OR DID HE? (cue ominous “dun-dun-dun” music). Wait no. No he did die of natural causes. Because there’s zero chance Anna Nicole Smith was smart enough to orchestrate a murder, and a negative zero chance she was smart enough to hide it from the FBI. At best her plan would be to invite him over and offer him poison to drink, but when she gave it to him it would be this boiling green sludge with fog coming off the top. “No, driink it, is good. I jus’ had one so I downe really want another raght now but you should drink yurs. Go on drink it.”