morning headlines

By brendon October 20, 2009 @ 1:12 PM

000shakira_whitney_museum

The Tuesday morning headlines are brought to you by this guy. Either one really.

MADONNA – is cheap. She made 110 million dollars last year, yet only gave $459,000 to charity. This may sound thoughtless, but keep in mind: Madonna is a mean old bitch. (hollywood reporter)

ROMAN POLANSKI – has been denied bail once again. A Swiss court ruled he was a high flight risk and ordered him to remain in jail while he awaits possible extradition to the United States. Considering he’s facing extradition precisely because he fled the country while on bail last time, it takes some balls to ask for bail again. That’s the entire reason we’re here. What did he think the judge was gonna say? “I know you took off last time, but, I’ve just got a lucky feeling. I say we go for it!” (e online)

SHAKIRA
– has secretly been taking “Introduction to Western Civilization: Ancient Civilizations from Prehistory to Circa A.D. 843″ at UCLA all summer. She would wear baggy clothes with a hat pulled low and keep to herself, and no one ever knew. She took the class simply because she wanted to, and did well until it wrapped up last Thursday. “I was really impressed with how intelligent she was,” said Professor Robert Cleve, as he tried to change the subject so his erection would go away. (the ap)

wwtdd

(29) Comments

  1. SuperB 10/20/2009 13:14

    She’s hot…and can do that thing wit her hips…

    where do I sign up?

  2. pepper 10/20/2009 13:16

    I lile that thing she does with her hips.

  3. pepper 10/20/2009 13:18

    *like
    .
    .Brend*n, your place is full of fucking viruses.
    ..

  4. CB007 10/20/2009 13:20

    Glad to see everyone is still around! Shakira is sexy for sure, curvy, yum.

  5. Jean-Claude Van Douche 10/20/2009 13:21

    I want her to mount my cock and do that paintshaker hip move fo sho.

  6. Observer 10/20/2009 13:22

    CB 007….

    …Finally…..

  7. RedRage 10/20/2009 13:22

    “you know these hips don’t lie so cum in my eye”

    She looks like she gives angry, aggressive BJs. Getting behind her while she shook her hips and that ass would pull the sperm out my nuts like a fucking snake charmer coaxing a cobra out of a basket.

  8. whatizdat 10/20/2009 13:22

    I would die with the BIGGEST smile after prematurely coming while trying to bang her. God is she hot!

  9. Observer 10/20/2009 13:22

    Pepper….

    …what virus did you get?

    I got IE-8

  10. whatizdat 10/20/2009 13:23

    and WTF with all the redirects?

  11. pepper 10/20/2009 13:25

    Observer, shit just starts to download. ( ad.timp)
    I don’t want any of this shit!

  12. Watt 10/20/2009 13:27

    I’ll give her an oral fixation

  13. pepper 10/20/2009 13:27

    I’m out.

  14. Observer 10/20/2009 13:27

    Pepper…..

    …I think it is bad form to say “no” to automated downloads……

    ….I mean how can you look a gift horse in the mouth…..

  15. RedRage 10/20/2009 13:28

    of the closet.

  16. Observer 10/20/2009 13:29

    Sorry RedRage….

  17. SCUM 10/20/2009 13:30

    Say it out loud, he’s gay and he’s proud.

  18. Watt 10/20/2009 13:31

    Yankees haven’t won yet pepper

  19. TheOverrated 10/20/2009 13:36

    good afternoon good evening and goodnight. id fuck shakira on her period
    http://theoverrated.com/

  20. iwontrememberthis 10/20/2009 13:36

    That dress is corseted, right? That waist/hip ratio is ridiculous. (Not complaining.)

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