thats not how you wear those

Gerard Butler has made it up to “S” in his directory of women in Hollywood to have sex with, and apparently first in line was “Simpson, Jessica”.  Page Six says…

Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler had a date at Soho House Tuesday night, with friends including her hair stylist pal, Ken Paves.
“They were at a table with friends, but Jessica and Gerard, who sat next to each other, seemed to only be interested in each other and chatted for hours. They were laughing and flirting and eventually left together, along with Ken.”

People must feel confident when making a move on Jessica, because she was married to Nick Lachey. How high could her standards really be? If I were a girl I’d rather be raped by a guy whose penis was literally on fire while he was raping me than have sex with that moon-faced doofus Lachey.