monday afternoon headlines

By brendon November 02, 2009 @ 2:23 PM

mccord sisters 011109

MEL GIBSON – has a new baby girl. His Russian girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva gave birth Friday afternoon. Luckily she wasn’t born one day later, on Halloween, or else like 15 different prophecies in the Torah would have come true.  None of them good. (abc news)

JESSICA SIMPSON
– went on Twitter to defend her sister and attack ‘Melrose Place’, who fired Ashlee last week. “catching up on MP. who writes this crap? i have had bad scripts to work with, but this? thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press.” After that she began to rub her breasts and wrote, “wow, I have really sensitive nipples.”  No not really but that would have been awesome. (twitter)

THE WIRE
– will now be offered as a course at Harvard. Watching the TV show. ‘The Wire’.  Will be a course. At Harvard. “I do not hesitate to say that it has done more to enhance our understanding of the challenges of urban life and the problems of urban inequality, more than any other media event or scholarly publication,” sociology professor William J. Wilson said. In a related story, I announced I’ll be teaching a course entitled, “Why The Germans And Chinese Are Now Kicking Our Ass.”  It’s not really a “course”, I just email people this story and then add, “WTF!!!”.  (ny post)

ANNALYNNE MCCORD – went to Halloween as … bat … girl? Man? Both? Neither? I have no idea. It doesn’t really matter. I don’t wanna give away too many details, but let’s just say someone masturbated to these, if you catch my drift.  (wenn)

wwtdd

(32) Comments

  1. Rusty Sanchez 11/02/2009 14:26

    Fist

  2. Mrs Tess Tickle 11/02/2009 14:29

    2th

  3. J-Sausage 11/02/2009 14:30

    Turd

  4. Mrs Tess Tickle 11/02/2009 14:31

    Annalynne McCord might be the hottest chick alive right now. she might also have the most N’s in her first name. Dang!

  5. Watt 11/02/2009 14:38

    I’d like to stuff my joker in her batcave.

  6. DB's Treasure 11/02/2009 14:40

    I’d rub my boner in this bitch’s dirty laundry.

  7. SCUM 11/02/2009 14:42

    I love when whores dress like sluts.

  8. Mrs Tess Tickle 11/02/2009 14:43

    How old is Angel McCord? In the world I live in, she’s legal (whatever age that happens to be)!

  9. Watt 11/02/2009 14:47

    She’s legal in this world too.

  10. Dr. Gonzo 11/02/2009 14:48

    I’m pretty sure halloween is not mentioned anywhere in the torah

  11. Watt 11/02/2009 14:52

    DD is the resident jew. I’d ask her.

  12. Rusty Sanchez 11/02/2009 14:53

    Scum, that reminds me of the tag line for some website I’ve seen…I think its “gangbanglessons.com” or something like that. They say “We teach sluts to become whores”. I’ve always liked that motto.

  13. Zombie 11/02/2009 14:54

    She was in “The Haunting Of Molly Hartley” on Starz late last night.

    I came.

  14. SuperB 11/02/2009 14:56

    Wonder if Mel will whore out his baba’s pics to People or Us or whoever….

  15. Rusty Sanchez 11/02/2009 14:56

    I don’t know if these chicks are Bi or not, but later on when I’ve got the Jergens lotion out, they will be.

  16. DB's Treasure 11/02/2009 14:56

    I’m listening to bluegrass….it’s the hot

  17. Watt 11/02/2009 14:57

    Do jews love money?

  18. Slaappy 11/02/2009 14:58

    Slutty outfits are mentioned in the torah on page 2

  19. Watt 11/02/2009 14:59

    I’m listening to yellowcard do a cover of michelle branch’s everywhere

  20. DB's Treasure 11/02/2009 15:04

    I got a hummer during half time of the football game yesterday. Anyone got sex stories from the weekend? Let’s pep this thread up….it’s deader than my grandmother’s growler in here.

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