ZACH GALIFIANAKIS - has a new episode of ‘Between Two Ferns’, this time with Andy Richter and Conan O’Brien. Anything I write here will look dumb compared to even the smallest thing Zach and Andy do in this, so I’m giving up except to say fuck them both. (funny or die)
JESSICA ALBA - has written an article about her trip to DC last week. She says she went, “to pound the pavement and talk about education for the world’s poorest children.” And there’s a picture included of Jessica with Hillary Clinton who is autographing a soccer ball. Problem Solved! (huff post)
JOHNNY DEPP - has signed a deal paying him $35 million to do a fourth ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ movie. In a related story, I sleep on a bed stuffed with old newspapers and hay. Horray for Hollywood! (the sun)
BEYONCE - carries a small wind machine with her around in clubs, even when she’s sitting down, to “keep her hair blowing everywhere - just like it does in her ‘Crazy in Love’ video.” This is an easier way to look sexy than my suggestion, which was to carry a treadmill everywhere so she could run her fat ass off. (the mirror and wenn images)
Alba needs to do another movie.
Depp should quit while he’s ahead.
‘Wind machine’ is what we used to call a ‘fan’ back in New Jersey.
Maybe she’s just warm all the time.
I bet the real reason Beyonce keeps that fan on her at all times is so she can fart in public and deflect that undoubtedly nasty ham-ass wind away from her.
Did anyone watch the video? I can’t be bothered.
Chicks will say, “Why is it that a man can fuck a lot of women and he’s a stud, but when a woman does the same thing, she’s a whore?” To this I say, “If a master key opens any lock, then it’s a good key, but if a lock can be opened by any key, it’s just a shitty lock.”
.
LNOJ, surely you’re not trying to take credit for coming up with that saying? I’ve heard it used several times over the years since I was 12.
The Beyonce line……
…fucking hilarious……
$35 Million to mumble in a movie, FU Disney!
Zach Galifinakis might be the most underrated comedic actor in history. He’s just too subtle for most people.
zombie,
i thought that flood would’ve washed all the sand out of your pussy.
Zombie, I think the lock-key thing is an old Chinese proverb.
Ssnake Oil…..
Depp and 35 million?
For a dopey movie series that even my wife or daughter won’t watch?
I’d say he is “getting ahead” more so each day….
::fart::
Good point, obs… but is the verb form of selling out “pulling a Depp” or “pulling a Cusack”?
the video, not funny….anything w/ andy dick (since old school) is just not funny….
Jessica Alba - get naked already, you’ll be 40 before you know it
Depp - why?! no one visiting this site paid to see any of them….
Beyonce - that’s some sweet ass, if i can plow it, she can bring her “wind machine” everywhere.
Alba needs a cock in her mouth at all times. I volunteer
Ssnake Oil……
….I pronounce it “payday”…..
http://www.theync.com/media.php?name=12690-girl-attacks
Crazy kneegrows.
Ham ass
Bwahaha
BSDC you slay me. Post more.
Chubb, that avatar is damn good. I’d suck the diarrhea from her brown eye.
I think the lock-key thing is an old Al Gore proverb?