11.04.2009 afternoon headlines

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HOOPER PENN - is the 16-year-old son of Sean Penn, and last week he was arrested at his prissy Malibu high school. At the time it wasn’t clear why, but now it’s been reveled that - brace yourself - he had drugs. I should go talk to his school about the “Hugs, Not Drugs” program. You, in the front row, with the red hair and big tits, come on up and we’ll show the class how this works. (radar)

JENNIFA YOPEZ - is fighting to stop the release of 11 hours of home video footage, which among other things shows her parading around mostly naked and arguing with her mother. A Latin girl who is overtly sexual but also has a temper? Yeah, right! This sounds fake to me. (enquirer)

AUDRINA PATRIDGE - walked around LA today, and in some of the pictures from this set her arms were up across her chest and you couldn’t see her huge tits. Needless to say I skipped right over those. (pacific coast)

11 photos in gallery >

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18 Comments

(18) Comments

  1. The "Internet's Helpdesk" Tony Stark 11/04/2009 19:55

    I still don’t know who Audrina Patridge is… If I gave a shit I guess I would wikipedia her and read some artistically written an article about her.

    Or I could go make a dark sacrifice to the asteroid gods to send a 20 mile wide fiery rock to hit the Earth at 30,000 mph.

  2. whatizdat 11/04/2009 19:57

    Can I finish a bowl before you order the asteroid Tony?

  3. The "Internet's Helpdesk" Tony Stark 11/04/2009 19:59

    Sure, go right ahead, it’ll enhance the experience.

  4. spazer 11/04/2009 20:00

    Jennifa Yopez parading around mostly naked?!?! YES PLEASE!

  5. whatizdat 11/04/2009 20:01

    Cool, a front seat to the end of the world . .

    hey wait . shit Armageddon, Steve Buschemi

    I am such a hack !

  6. Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 11/04/2009 20:17

    How bout just having it take out all of LA ?

  7. Lora 11/04/2009 20:39

    We’re destroying the world??

    FINALLY!

  8. The "Internet's Helpdesk" Tony Stark 11/04/2009 20:53

    Oh look who finally showed up…

    Hi, Lora.

  9. Lora 11/04/2009 20:59

    Hey Tony :) hows tricks?

    It’s awfully slow in here tonight! Is something good happening elsewhere that I don’t know about?

  10. The "Internet's Helpdesk" Tony Stark 11/04/2009 21:02

    The World Series is going on… I’m not watching it though.

    It’s kind of pretentious to call something the World Series when only teams from 2 countries in North America are actually eligible to participate.

  11. Lora 11/04/2009 21:03

    I agree. Since I have no idea what that is (although I assume it’s something to do with baseball, which you americans all seem to love so much) my night will consist of uni work and playing cod 4.
    Fuck my life.

  12. The "Internet's Helpdesk" Tony Stark 11/04/2009 21:07

    I am an American who detests Baseball.

  13. Lora 11/04/2009 21:22

    And I’m a girl who plays call of duty.

    This was meant to be.

  14. angelove35 11/04/2009 22:01

    I found a hot place, you should try it ____ http://www.diamondsingle.com ____ a great place for successful man to meet young and beautiful woman…..First I can’t believe,then,I signed up there. I got many friends with millionaires,sexy girls and so on….I want to share with you

  15. ViperVisor 11/05/2009 01:42

    Cellphones don’t cause cancer just bigger tits.

  16. Baphomet 11/05/2009 08:29

    wouldn’t mind a romp with that! I’d give her a good rogering, cherio’

  17. oy 11/05/2009 09:50

    Big tits indeed! i really really really want to stick my dick in her lazy eye though! just for 2-3 minutes…. and then go back to destroying her ass….

  18. oy 11/05/2009 09:51

    ^ audriana’s lazy eye

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