Taylor Swift is probably too sweet to realize how it would look when paparazzi had her kiss the very phallic statue last night after the CMA awards, but she probably doesn’t care considering she just went beast mode and won every award in sight. Still only 19-years-old, she won all 4 awards she was nominated for, but the headline was when she became the youngest person to ever win Entertainer of the Year (the biggest award) and the first female to take it since Shania Twain in 1999.
“I’ll never forget this moment because in this moment everything that I have ever wanted has just happened to me,” Swift said through tears as she accepted the association’s highest honour during ceremonies at Sommet Center.
The 19-year-old crossover sensation beat the biggest names in country and snapped Kenny Chesney’s stranglehold on the category: He won three straight and four of the last five. She also ended Carrie Underwood’s three-year dominance in the female vocalist category.
Chesney hugged and kissed Swift on the cheek, then whispered a message in her ear before she received the trophy. She called her band on stage and was the centre of a group hug as fans cheered wildly, holding signs that said, “We love you, Taylor”; her father cried in the audience.
“Every single person in that category let me open up for them this year,” Swift said. “Thank you all so much. I love you.”
I couldn’t even afford a soft taco when I was 19, so I’m tempted to tell Taylor to kiss my ass, but gratitude is an incredibly endearing quality and she seems nice and she writes all her own songs so it’s hard to resent her. I could have been rich and famous at 19 too, except my only noticeable talent was right-clicking pictures of underage girls and naked models and then masturbating. I went down to the French Quarter where the street performers hang out and did my act for tips, but it wasn’t really the money making extravaganza I had hoped for.