jessica simpson is sad

God only knows why, but apparently Jessica Simpson is still hung up on Tony Romo, and so it was the perfect finale for her terrible year when he got engaged last week to 23-year-old Candice Crawford, just 5 months after he dumped Jessica. The Enquirer says…

“Jess was torn up about it,” said a source. “She obsesses over Tony’s every move with Candice, and she’s always held out hope that she could win him back.?
Just the thought that Candice was getting Tony to the altar was enough to send Jess into a deep funk. Jess always dreamed that she’d be the one to marry Tony. She had their wedding all planned in her head.”

Hopefully that wedding included a dress with an elastic waistband because Jessica has put on 10 pounds a month for the past year. Candice is a former Miss Missouri and the sister of Chase Crawford. Of course Romo bailed. Jessica should find a guy who doesn’t mind a girl that lets herself go to hell, and while we’re here in Fantasy Land, her wedding could have a wise talking lion with a crown on his head conduct the ceremony, and then they’d ride away on a silver Pegasus.