“…kicked her in the vagina.”

Lindsay Lohans’ dad Michael was arrested on December 14th for violating a restraining order put on him by his ex girlfriend Erin Muller, and yesterday Muller stepped things up by filing papers with a New York court claiming Lohan beat her at least a dozen times during their 2-year relationship. Some of the highlights…

Dec. 9, 2007: Michael Lohan “slapped Erin in the face twice because Erin accused him of giving her a fake watch on her birthday.
Feb. 2008: Michael “punched Erin in the mouth” because she had a male friend on Facebook
March 2008: Michael “whipped a computer cord” at her face but she blocked it with her hand … causing a laceration.
May 5, 2008: Michael “kicked Erin Muller in the ribs.”
May 2008: Michael “kicked Erin Muller in the vagina, bruising it and causing substantial pain.”
June 2008: Michael “spit in Erin’s face, and beat her repeatedly with his fist.” Then he “yelled at her to ‘stop crying c*nt — other people will see you — if they see you, I will kill you!'”

I like when stories like this are made public because I’m a crappy boyfriend but at least I’ve never kicked my girlfriend in her vagina, bruising it and causing substantial pain. In fact I’ve had several girlfriends comment that their vagina was never even sore, and in some cases showroom new, even after we’d dated for several months.

So I don’t mean to brag but … hey wait a second…