afternoon headlines

By brendon January 20, 2010 @ 7:46 PM


NBC - doesn’t mind paying Conan O’Brien and his staff between 30 and 40 million as severance because it feels it can make 40M in profit the first year Leno comes back. This despite the fact that Lenos numbers dropped every year since 2005, and NBC only made 25M during his final year as host. It’s progressive thinking like this that guided them to a 600M loss this year. That should turn around soon though. In fact just last week they signed a development deal with the agent for Brittany Murphy. She’s so hot right now.

SPIDER-MAN 4 - will be directed by Mark Webb. His credits on IMDb look like this:

2009 – ’500 Days of Summer’
2005 – ‘Jesse McCartney Up Close’

You didn’t just black out by the way. He made a documentary about Jesse McCartney 5 years ago and then a movie nobody saw and now ‘Spider-Man 4′. Obviously he got the job because it’s Spider-Man and his name is “Webb” and Hollywood is run by fucking retards. He better sign his contract fast, before they find a directer named Peter Parker or Steven Spyderman.

CARRIE AMSTUTZ - was on the beach in Miami today, and to be honest I’m not entirely sure who she is, but love is like that sometimes. It’s a mystery filled with unexpected twists and surprises. (splash news online)

(62) Comments

  1. avatar
    Observer 01/20/2010 19:58

    Leno’s gonna take that town by STORM!!!!!!

  2. avatar
    Observer 01/20/2010 20:00

    The more effective “Google Image Search” becomes……

    ….the lower late night broadcast TV’s numbers will be…….

  3. avatar
    Bobafett 01/20/2010 20:01

    Er, Carrie who?

    (I mean) *lick*

  4. avatar
    Rusty Sanchez 01/20/2010 20:02

    Take this chicks head and put it on Amanda Holden’s body and you have solid 5 1/2. Still not there yet, Bren. Keep looking.

  5. avatar
    ohmwrecker 01/20/2010 20:02

    NBC . . . Not Bright Corporation.

  6. avatar
    ohmwrecker 01/20/2010 20:04

    Who’s Jesse McCartney?

  7. avatar
    Rusty Sanchez 01/20/2010 20:04

    Or…NBC….NoBody Cares

  8. avatar
    Rusty Sanchez 01/20/2010 20:06

    Jessie was a friend. Yeah he was a good friend of mine…

  9. avatar
    meatbydapound 01/20/2010 20:24

    That Jesse McCartney movie was my guilty pleasure of 2005. I only needed to watch 12 seconds at a time. Took me all year to finish.

  10. avatar
    Mony Vibescu 01/20/2010 20:58

    It’s nice to see you, Ohm.

  11. avatar
    ksul88 01/20/2010 21:32

    People saw 500 Days of Summer. You don’t know shit.

  12. avatar
    Slaappy 01/20/2010 21:40

    I’m A Slut too, Astutz…

  13. avatar
    itsisai 01/20/2010 22:25

    500 Days of Summer was actually awesome; but more to the point of the post, lots of people watched it. What does that matter, though? How many people saw the Transformer movies? Does that make Michael Bay a good director?

  14. avatar
    Mony Vibescu 01/20/2010 22:41

    Hello, Doc.

  15. avatar
    The Irreverent Tony Stark 01/20/2010 23:07

    ::walks in room, starts lifting up the sofa cushions::

    Where the hell is my Swiss Army knife?

    ::turns sofa over, flips over coffee table and end tables::

  16. avatar
    ohmwrecker 01/20/2010 23:11

    Hey, Mony. How ya doin’, cowboy?

  17. avatar
    Woodsman 01/20/2010 23:23

    I like them on the thin side but this girl needs a sandwich.

  18. avatar
    ohmwrecker 01/20/2010 23:31

    I love Sam Raimi, but that last Spiderman movie kinda sucked.

  19. avatar
    ohmwrecker 01/20/2010 23:43

    The chick in the white bikini reminds me of Mila Kunis, which is good because she is legal, but she still makes me feel like Humbert Humbert. Also, if she talks during sex you could close your eyes and pretend you’re fucking Meg Griffin.

  20. avatar
    Naddz Dangle 01/21/2010 01:03

    What?!?! No tittays on Carrie? I guess it would have to be a mounting from behind her…

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