i better not get noah wylie

Speaking of Haiti and the telethon, the list of Hollywood stars who will be manning the phones is now out (highlights below, full list under the cut). What a sexy telethon this is gonna be.

Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, Alec Baldwin, Gerard Butler, Sacha Baron Cohen, Bradley Cooper, Daniel Craig, Cindy Crawford, Penelope Cruz, Michael Clarke Duncan, Zac Efron, Colin Farrell, Mel Gibson, Selena Gomez, Neil Patrick Harris, Vanessa Hudgens, Dwayne Johnson, Daniel Day Lewis, Ewan McGregor, Toby Maguire, Jack Nicholson, Zoe Saldana (pictured), Adam Sandler, Nicole Scherzinger, Steven Spielberg, Charlize Theron, Sofia Vergara, Mark Wahlberg, Olivia Wilde, Reese Witherspoon

They should put up each celebrities number because I’m not giving shit to Billy Crystal. If anything I’d just call him a dick and hang up. That’s not gonna help Haiti. And Noah Wylie is probably just there to collect credit card numbers. I wasn’t born yesterday. I want Vanessa Hudgens, to see if she’d flash her bra to the camera for a thousand dollar donation. Look Vanessa, do you want to help these people or not?

Ben Affleck, Tim Allen, Jennifer Aniston, David Archuleta, Alec Baldwin, Ellen Barkin, Drew Barrymore, Jack Black, Emily Blunt, Russell Brand, Benjamin Bratt, Pierce Brosnan, Gerard Butler, Chevy Chase, Kristin Chenoweth, Sacha Baron Cohen, Common, Cat Cora, Bradley Cooper, Daniel Craig, Cindy Crawford, Penelope Cruz, Billy Crystal, John Cusack, Eric Dane, Ellen DeGeneres, Fran Drescher, Michael Clarke Duncan, Zac Efron, Jenna Elfman, Colin Farrell, Andy Garcia, Mel Gibson, Tyrese Gibson, Selena Gomez, Neil Patrick Harris, Taraji P. Henson, Dijmon Honsou, Vanessa Hudgens, Randy Jackson, Jimmy Jean-Louis, Dwayne Johnson, Nick Jonas, Kevin Jonas, Joe Jonas, Quincy Jones, Diane Keaton, Michael Keaton, Anna Kendrick, Greg Kinnear, Jane Krakowski, John Krasinksi, Jessica Lange, Taylor Lautner, Daniel Day Lewis, Jared Leto, Justin Long, Rose McGowan, Ewan McGregor, Toby Maguire, Ricky Martin, Katharine McPhee, Debra Messing, Alyssa Milano, Jack Nicholson, Keke Palmer, Holly Robinson Peete, Tyler Perry, Chris Pine, Jeremy Piven, Jeremy Renner, Tim Robbins, Ray Romano, Jeri Ryan, Meg Ryan, Zoe Saldana, Adam Sandler, Nicole Scherzinger, Gabourey Sidibe, Kimora Lee Simmons, Russell Simmons, Christian Slater, Steven Spielberg, Molly Sims, Ringo Starr, Charlize Theron, Ashley Tisdale, Marisa Tomei, Amber Valleta, Sofia Vergara, Mark Wahlberg, Joe Walsh, Sigourney Weaver, Forest Whitaker, Olivia Wilde, Rainn Wilson, Robin Williams, Reese Witherspoon, and Noah Wyle.