Tiger Woods is one of the most famous people on earth, but he hasn’t been seen in public for almost two months, ever since his 2:30am car crash on November 28th. Rumors have had him hiding out everywhere from Sweden to Arizona to Long Island to the middle of the Atlantic on his yacht, but 5 days ago I got word from a source that he was at a sex rehab clinic in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. It was only a rumor, and a crazy sounding one at that, but now (cue dramatic “DUN-DUN-DUN” music) I have the proof!
They don’t just hand out websites you know. As a universally respected journalist and sex symbol, I have contacts everywhere and my sources have infiltrated every corner of Hollywood, so I can’t reveal where this picture came from, but it’s the real deal. It’s Tiger Woods at the sex rehab. The only question now is where I should put all the “Worlds Best Reporter” trophies I’m bound to win.
THREATENING UPDATE – so the original picture had to be taken down because the national enquirer owns it, but it sort of looked like the new one that I made taking a picture of tiger and a picture of the rehab and combining them and then making them blurry. so this is what it looked like, except mine is even better because of how handsome he looks in his fancy tuxedo.