i’ve cracked the case! – (update)

By brendon January 20, 2010 @ 11:30 AM


Tiger Woods is one of the most famous people on earth, but he hasn’t been seen in public for almost two months, ever since his 2:30am car crash on November 28th. Rumors have had him hiding out everywhere from Sweden to Arizona to Long Island to the middle of the Atlantic on his yacht, but 5 days ago I got word from a source that he was at a sex rehab clinic in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. It was only a rumor, and a crazy sounding one at that, but now (cue dramatic “DUN-DUN-DUN” music) I have the proof!

They don’t just hand out websites you know. As a universally respected journalist and sex symbol, I have contacts everywhere and my sources have infiltrated every corner of Hollywood, so I can’t reveal where this picture came from, but it’s the real deal. It’s Tiger Woods at the sex rehab. The only question now is where I should put all the “Worlds Best Reporter” trophies I’m bound to win.

– so the original picture had to be taken down because the national enquirer owns it, but it sort of looked like the new one that I made taking a picture of tiger and a picture of the rehab and combining them and then making them blurry. so this is what it looked like, except mine is even better because of how handsome he looks in his fancy tuxedo.

(60) Comments

  1. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 01/20/2010 11:35

    Tiger looks amazingly like Malcolm-Jamal Warner

  2. avatar
    dirtysanchez 01/20/2010 11:35

    cool story brah

    edit: did his wife leave him yet? i hope she drains him of all the money she can get from him

  3. avatar
    pepper 01/20/2010 11:38

    holy shit…they found Big Foot!

  4. avatar
    Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 01/20/2010 11:39

    two things:

    1. Its tiger, you can tell cause he’s the only black athlete that wears khaki docker shorts.


    2. http://www.masonicinfo.com/images/BeatDeadHorse.gif

    Stop getting photos and stories from the enquirer.

  5. avatar
    Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 01/20/2010 11:40

    want to cure Tiger of his sexual addiction of plowing hot women, take away all his money. Ugly fuck won’t even be able to pull a 4 after that.

  6. avatar
    Zombie 01/20/2010 11:42

    Tiger is on the block scalping Jay-Z party passes. You can take the nígger out the hood but you can’t take the hood out the nígger.

  7. avatar
    RemSteale 01/20/2010 11:44

    As Agent Kay said : Best investigative reporting on the planet. But go ahead, read the New York Times if you want. They get lucky sometimes

  8. avatar
    Rokan 01/20/2010 11:47


  9. avatar
    ohmwrecker 01/20/2010 11:49

    You can take the hood off the cracker you . . . Ah, nevermind.

  10. avatar
    pepper 01/20/2010 11:49

    Rokan…say something funny………………Ohm will be here in a few

  11. avatar
    pepper 01/20/2010 11:50


  12. avatar
    Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 01/20/2010 11:52

    Far as I recall, Tiger never lived in the ghetto. In fact he’s had a silver spoon in his mouth his whole life.

    Should read like this: ” you can take the white boy out of the country club, but the black paint will always wash off eventually”? something like that.

  13. avatar
    RemSteale 01/20/2010 11:53

    So what do they do at sex rehab? Slowly wean you off sex by giving you one less whore each day??

  14. avatar
    ohmwrecker 01/20/2010 11:55

    Rokan, just do the opposite of whatever Pepper does.

  15. avatar
    pepper 01/20/2010 11:55

    what do they do at sex rehab?
    They try to stroke you off!

  16. avatar
    meatbydapound 01/20/2010 11:55

    I think Tiger looks more like Urkels alter ego Stephon from Family Matters.

  17. avatar
    pepper 01/20/2010 11:56

    I eat pussy….Rokan, your turn

  18. avatar
    RedRage 01/20/2010 11:57

    Rem, they make you watch your wife get Eiffel Towered by two porn stars so you can feel the pain your actions caused your wife. Tiger has to take the facials at the end too.

  19. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 01/20/2010 11:58

    Do they have signs like this all over the rehab building?

  20. avatar
    ohmwrecker 01/20/2010 11:59

    Sex rehab sounds like the most boring place in the world. And bear in mind, I’m saying that while sitting in an airport and hanging out at WWTDD.

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