jennifer love hewitt decorates her kitty with crystals

By brendon January 13, 2010 @ 8:34 PM

Jennifer Love Hewitt has a new dating book out, and if you think she wouldn’t have any good tips for how to spice up your love life, you would be 100 percent correct.

One of her tips: glue shiny things on your vadge.
“After a breakup, a friend of mine Swarovski-crystalled my precious lady,” she said. “It shined like a disco ball so I have a whole chapter in there on how women should vagazzle their vajayjays.”

The promise of slamming your penis into a dozen rocks might be effective if you’re trying to seduce Ben Grimm, but believe it or not I’d rather not pound my dick into fragile cut glass with sharp edges. Seeing a girl with crystals glued to her vagina sounds horrifying. At best it would look like armor, at worst scales, and either way my dick isn’t getting anywhere near it. Because it’s either defending itself or it might spit poison at me.

(46) Comments

  1. avatar
    D. Znuts 01/13/2010 20:43

    LOL! I would still fuck a puss with scales. What, don’t judge me.

  2. avatar
    D. Znuts 01/13/2010 20:46

    Even J-Love’s buttery ass.

  3. avatar
    Gildorg 01/13/2010 20:46

    You know when she is sitting on that big pear ass, she is still pretty damn hot.

    Sorry if calling her lower portions fat offends anyone, but when you entire career is based on how you look… The whole this is how “real women look” excuse doesn’t really fly…

  4. avatar
    iwontrememberthis 01/13/2010 21:05

    The scariest part of this story is that someone watched George Lopez’ show.

  5. avatar
    Rusty Sanchez 01/13/2010 21:43

    I would bejizzle her vajayjay with pearls and ribbons…self adhereing of course. Chunky butt or not she cleans up pretty damn nice.

  6. avatar
    mike03 01/13/2010 21:57

    What good is the tell without the show? I decorate my dick with shiny rulers. Just the shaft, though.

  7. avatar
    Gildorg 01/13/2010 22:00

    Just a thought but for a semi-hot chick (cleaning up ability non-withstanding, Mr. Rusty) with a horrible dating record… (Hasn’t she been dumped by everyone she has been with?)…

    It this the person you want to buy (or even listen too) a dating/relationship book from?

    She should slim-down (get the surgery) and then do some nudity-work while she still has some market-value…

  8. avatar
    dirk 01/13/2010 22:18

    Shit I still think shes hot.

  9. avatar
    JohnnyPeps 01/14/2010 01:32

    hot or not she sucks at acting..

  10. avatar
    Woodsman 01/14/2010 03:14

    Do you think it’s physically painful to be this stupid?

  11. avatar
    RemSteale 01/14/2010 04:40

    Slow news day then?

    Now if she was giving a practical demonstration, that would be more interesting

  12. avatar
    polly 01/14/2010 07:49

    So she’s bi? Into S&M?
    Her friend did that to her to cheer her up.
    Did she use a hot glue gun?

  13. avatar
    Naddz Dangle 01/14/2010 09:03

    Rem is 100% right. It’s one thing to talk about a vajazzled vajayjay, but the proof is in the seeing. C’mon Chewitt, show is the vag!!!

  14. avatar
    Naddz Dangle 01/14/2010 09:03

    I meant us.

  15. avatar
    RemSteale 01/14/2010 09:33

    Hot Glue Gun.

    Funny. As. Fuck.

  16. avatar
    Just the Tip 01/14/2010 10:11


  17. avatar
    Just the Tip 01/14/2010 10:12

    “Vegazzle Vajayjay”

    …is that some new fucking Hip Hop Artist?

  18. avatar
    Just the Tip 01/14/2010 10:13

    …and who gives a shit what she does with her slit – she’s nothing but a Titty Fuck Candidate anyway.

  19. avatar
    Just the Tip 01/14/2010 10:14

    …aaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnd, that’s three.

    Time to sit in the corner.

  20. avatar
    RemSteale 01/14/2010 10:16

    Listen to the sound of the crickets…..

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