monday morning headlines

THE HURT LOCKER – was (rightfully) named the best picture of the year by the Producers Guild of America this weekend, giving it some momentum heading toward the Academy Awards. Unfortunately it’s only made $12M so far. They should have called it “The Hurt Romantic Vampire”. (variety)

AVATAR – will become the highest grossing movie ever later today after it finished the weekend with a box office total of $1.841 billion, just shy of ‘Titanic’ and its 1.843. Analysts are surprised because ‘Avatar’ has done all this is less than 2 months, and also because the movie is kind of fuckin stupid. (hollywood reporter)

TIGER WOODS – was finally visited by his wife at his sex rehab in Mississippi. In fact she spent 5 days there and is participating in his therapy. When asked for a comment, someone more miserable than Tiger didn’t say anything, because they don’t exist. (radar)

HOPE FOR HAITI NOW – raised $57M Friday night with the big Hollywood telethon. You just know Haiti is gonna spend all that on weed. (us.com)

ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO – was in St. Barths this weekend for Victorias Secret. I heard that when you have sex with her, when you pull out your penis shines like the sun because her vagina coated it with a layer of gold. True story! (source = splash news online)