Elin Nordegren hasn’t made any public statements since her husband Tiger Woods crashed his car into a tree Thanksgiving weekend, so we may never know exactly what happened that night. We may never know exactly how she discovered he was having an affair and what she did when she learned the truth.
Or we’ll found out right now, starting with the very next sentence.
(On the night the National Enquirer broke the story of Tigers affair with Rachel Uchitel), the two argued. Tiger decided to end the bickering by taking Ambien and going to sleep.
After Woods fell asleep, Elin looked through his cellphone, both sources confirmed. There she found text messages to Uchitel’s number—Uchitel was apparently listed in Tiger’s cellphone under her real name—and among them she discovered one that said, “You are the only one I’ve loved.”
Shortly after 1 a.m. in Florida, Elin began texting Uchitel, pretending to be Tiger, according to both sources. Elin wrote, “I miss you,” and asked, “When are we seeing each other again?”
Uchitel texted back, seemingly surprised that Woods was awake. Elin specifically felt, one source told me, that this response indicated that the two of them spoke earlier that night, before Tiger took his Ambien. At that point, Elin called Uchitel, who answered thinking it was Tiger calling. Both sources said that Elin said something approximating, “I knew it was you.”
Uchitel’s surprised reply, according to what Elin told one source: “Oh f–k.” She immediately hung up.
Normally quiet and controlled, Elin later told one source she became enraged and woke Tiger by screaming at him. He seemed disoriented, still in a stupor from the Ambien. The fight ratcheted up quickly.
But then chaos ensued when she grabbed his cellphone when he came out after locking himself in the bathroom for several minutes. Both sources confirm that Tiger had apparently, shortly after waking up, sent another short text to Uchitel warning that Elin had uncovered the affair, that he was about to pack, and that a divorce might be imminent.
Elin didn’t tell Woods what she’d seen, one source says. She simply exploded, trying to hit him on the chest and arms with her fists, and then finally chasing him from the house while she wielded a golf club. Shoeless, he ran into the car and barreled out of the driveway before careening off a fire hydrant and then smashing into a tree.
It’s simply fantastic to picture Elin with a golf club and Tiger getting chased around the house like when Tom would chase Jerry with a fireplace shovel. Especially since he was high on Ambien. He probably had no idea WTF was going on. The only way it could be any better is if she was chasing him, just a step behind, smashing mirrors and vases while flailing away with the golf club but wearing a werewolf or devil mask or something like that. That would be freaky under any circumstances, but in an Ambien haze you would think someone was trying to skin and eat you.
Blah blah blah dead horse blah blah blah
ha ha ha
Watt, Dollhouse had potential to be so much more. FOX quit promoting it properly after the first few episodes and people forgot about it, large in part due to its Friday night slot. If it had gotten the same marketing treatment as The Cleveland Show, 24, or American Idol, there would be a new season in the works.
You mean to tell me that negroes cheat, lie and steal? I don’t believe it for a minute.
Not to mention the fact that Dollhouse is as boring as shit.
Right Ohmwrecker…. and Iggy Pop videos are amazing.
Elin FTW
The Cleveland Show is the best spin-off since The Jeffersons.
Speaking of The Cleveland Show, what do you guys think about it? I think it’s friggen hilarious.
does anyone hate Mark Sanchez and his stupid #1 fingers as much as i do?
Dollhouse season 2 has been amazing.
Iggy Pop makes videos?!
Did you guys hear that? Holy shit, I sent out a shock wave that made my eyeballs rattle. Well, I’ll never be able to look her in the eyes again. When I came out she was gone. Ha!
Cleveland show is hilarious. Best line from Cleveland Jr’s song balls deep is about making her south mouth water.
Mark Sanchez?
nom nom nom nachos
I think zombie wanted to say To Waits………
Zombie since you and I are the only ones here that are clear on race relations I wanted an opinion from you on this:
Last night my wife and I were watching TV when a commercial came on where these dopey white people were screwing up their lives and they were saved from themselves by the wise old black person who shows up halfway through the commercial.
I came up with a term for this phenomena. “Rulingnon”, which rhymes with mulignon - a term the Sopranos used referring to black people. The “Rulignon” is the rule commercials have today where all the white people are dopes and can only be saved from themselves by the appearance of a wise minority.
I thought it was brilliant. The wife isn’t speaking to me. Your thoughts?
That Balls Deep song Cleveland Jr sang was priceless.
They should have made a Quagmire show.
I’ve never experienced Mark Sanchez’s fingers… are they rough on the anus or something?
I need to stop taking Ambien…..*Tom Waits