tuesday afternoon headlines

CONAN O’BRIEN – is close to signing a 40 million dollar settlement with NBC to walk away from the Tonight Show, but as part of the deal he can’t insult NBC any more. If he does continue to make fun of them, NBC swears to God it’ll tell the teacher and then Conan is gonna be in so much trouble. (wsj)

BRITNEY SPEARS – might be crazy again, and her dad is threatening to send her back to a mental ward. Unfortunately his thick accent made “mental ward” sound like “menaward”, so Britney was sent to the GQ Mens Award show. That probably won’t help. (national enquirer)

KIM KARDASHIAN – shot down a rumor that she would get engaged to Reggie Bush if the New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl, but the Minnesota Vikings insist it’s true. “That bitch is lying,” they said. “Reggie should stay out in LA and follow her around all night if that’s what it takes.” (us.com)

BAM MARGERA – is doing porn now. Or something. I’ll be honest I got as far as “Porn” and “Bam Mar…” before getting disgusted. (foundry)

LEONARDO DICAPRIO – is back together with Bar Refaeli apparently, because they went to a Laker game last night. I didn’t even know they had broken up. What else have you been hiding from me you son of a bitch! (splash news online)