morning headlines

By brendon February 24, 2010 @ 12:49 PM


BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE – were photographed makin out in Paris on the set of her new movie. Perhaps all part of their intricate plan to trick the media into thinking they’re still together, which is apparently crucial for some reason that no one has ever bothered to explain. (just jared)

BONER - from ‘Growing Pains’ was last seen in Vancouver 10 days ago, and this morning his dad from ‘Star Trek’ asked for the public’s help. I bet this goes really well. “Chief we just got a tip from Mr. Hugh G. Rection saying Boner has gone limp on the corner of Imfuckin and Yomama. Should I send paramedics?” (people)

CHARLIE SHEEN - has entered a rehab for addiction to alcohol and cocaine. Let’s hope he get’s the help he needs. Everyone deserves a four-thousandth chance. (radar)

ROB ZOMBIE - is directing an episode of ‘CSI: Miami’, and this is the preview for it. Like every other episode of this dumb show, it looks like a complete piece of shit, but this one is Rob Zombier. (foundry)

AUSTRALIAN GIRLS - are fucking terrific. I don’t even know what Sophie Turner does, but she’s doing an amazing job at it. Whatever the championship trophy is called in her field, it should be renamed in her honor. (pacific coast)

(75) Comments

  1. avatar
    Zombie 02/24/2010 12:51

    Charlie Sheen and Rob Zombie in the same post. It looks to be a good day.

  2. avatar
    BigBadDouche 02/24/2010 12:53

    Morning all – I’m not feelin’ the love today, so fuck all of you.

  3. avatar
    pepper 02/24/2010 12:56

    BBD…I’ll give you love………..Rokan, let him suck you!

  4. avatar
    DB's Treasure 02/24/2010 12:56

    This Sophie Turner chick looks a little too fake all around. Skinny waist, next to no ass at all, and giant fake tits. But we all know damn well I wouldn’t pass up corking her poop chute, so whatever.

  5. avatar
    Watt 02/24/2010 13:04

    so Charlie got high on coke and drove his car into a ravine… NICE!

  6. avatar
    BALLSY 02/24/2010 13:05

    I like my avatar
    i like turtles!

  7. avatar
    SuperB 02/24/2010 13:06

    I have decided Charlie Sheen is my dream man, but only cause I would punch back….

    CSI with a RZ twist might actually be worth watching.

  8. avatar
    ohmwrecker 02/24/2010 13:07

    Charlie Sheen is a monument to venereal disease. How is this dude not dead or crazy from the syphilis?

  9. avatar
  10. avatar
    Zombie 02/24/2010 13:09

    During Christmas Sheen had a “sober coach” with him because a family member confronted him about the fact he had started boozing again. But Sheen drank in front of the sober coach on Christmas Eve and the next day ended up in jail. He has been trying to reconcile with Mueller after Christmas to keep her from testifying against him in Colorado…


    ^ That’s funny right there, I don’t care who you are.

  11. avatar
    Death to Finkle! 02/24/2010 13:10

    Oooh… Tongue ring…

  12. avatar
    Watt 02/24/2010 13:11

    Ohm, if Cheney can survive 5 heart attacks, and lilo can live through her drugs, in sure sheen with a few STDs is no problem.

  13. avatar
    Woodsman 02/24/2010 13:12

    Charlie is NOT a quitter!

  14. avatar
    ohmwrecker 02/24/2010 13:15

    Watt, Cheney is mostly robotic and his cold, black heart is powered by Alaskan oil.

  15. avatar
    Watt 02/24/2010 13:16

    God bless American health care!

  16. avatar
    SuperB 02/24/2010 13:17

    DTF, that very girl got me to dye my hair dark last night after watching her….ice blue eyes and dark hair…she’s amazing and I was like…YEAH where do I sign up.

    I couldn’t be brave enough to go dark black like her tho, so I settled for like chocolate brown

  17. avatar
    Death to Finkle! 02/24/2010 13:20

    Matches your ‘stache a lot better that way, I’m sure.

  18. avatar
    Watt 02/24/2010 13:21

    curling is a great sport.

  19. avatar
    kathyb 02/24/2010 13:22


    IT’S RAD.

  20. avatar
    Tom Foolery 02/24/2010 13:24

    Charlie Sheen and Dick Masterson should throw a party, I would be first in line for that shindig. DB, the more plastic/fake women become and technology constantly evolving, the closer we are to owning a Cherry2000.

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