jessica simpson is gross

By brendon March 12, 2010 @ 4:15 PM

Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson has apparently made it her mission to be as unattractive as possible, and if gaining 50 pounds wasn’t enough, now she reveals that the only thing getting used less than her treadmill is her toothbrush.

“I don’t brush my teeth. No, really! I just use Listerine — and sometimes I’ll use my sweater,” she claimed, bursting into laughter.
“I do brush every now and again, but my teeth are extremely powerful. Fine, maybe when I’m 60 I’ll all, “ow!”

I read that “sometimes I’ll use my sweater” line at least 4 times and still have no idea what it could possibly mean. Not even a guess. And it only goes downhill from there. Using my “teeth are powerful” as a reason not to brush is like saying this brand new car is great and then never filling it with gas. “Why did your car stop running Jessica?” “I have absolutely no idea.”

(image source = inf daily and splash news online)

wwtdd

(66) Comments

  1. Jessica 03/12/2010 16:20

    My friend told me a nice place SeekingAffluent.com. He said it’s a place where successful men and women reside in the hopes of finding love.

  2. Kensington Carnaby 03/12/2010 16:20

    I’m so happy with the way this woman looks now my testicles have formed a
    mariachi band.

  3. DB's Treasure 03/12/2010 16:25

    Her breath could smell like Barb’s balls, I’d still stick my dick in there.

  4. Watt 03/12/2010 16:27

    Barbs sour milk balls?

    Nice.

    FUCK YOU JESSICA

  5. genericwhiteguy 03/12/2010 16:31

    I think the only way to get rid of the smell is to stick something in there

  6. Thundercunt 03/12/2010 16:31

    So she’s fat AND has halitosis???
    What’s next, hair loss and a visit to the cat adoption center??

  7. buddygroove 03/12/2010 16:31

    And she wonders why people think she’s stupid?

  8. Barbarella 03/12/2010 16:32

    OMG… I don’t have balls already.

  9. Barbarella 03/12/2010 16:32

    and if I did… I would wash them lots… with listerine and a sweater.

  10. Dr. Gonzo 03/12/2010 16:33

    Don’t care
    I am a heterosexual male
    I’m not as picky as the metrosexual who took this site over from our Fearless Leader

  11. Chicago_animal 03/12/2010 16:33

    Didn’t even read what stupid comments were written by Facebook Brandon cause if you wouldn’t fuck her….your gay! Your just….. Gay!

  12. pepper 03/12/2010 16:34

    My friend told me KillJessica.com. It’s where many highly successful people are in search of someone for a quality relationship in their life, the same as you:)

  13. SCUM 03/12/2010 16:37

    She could brush her teeth with my cock, and then floss with Pepper’s.

  14. Rokan 03/12/2010 16:42

    Boop-boop-e-doop

  15. genericwhiteguy 03/12/2010 16:45

    DB, is that your fucking horse?

  16. Chicago_animal 03/12/2010 16:45

    Brandon is Jessica

  17. Watt 03/12/2010 16:45

    Deebs you’ll just go after any chick who takes it in the shitter won’t you?

  18. Rokan 03/12/2010 16:49

    In today’s performance, Watt will be playing the role of “Mr. Obvious.”

  19. DB's Treasure 03/12/2010 16:49

    Well, hey now, I aint saying she’s much to look at, but at least the dame takes it in the chili ring, is all I’m sayin.

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